A Disciplined Mind vs. An Open Mind

This post is one I wanted to do a while back, but stopped myself due to its possible controversial material, and I ended up blogging on my frustration with not expressing my thoughts. I am glad I postponed though because the whole idea has taken a new spin and other thoughts have risen to the surface. I can respect the notion of avoiding certain topics but ultimately, I feel as though if there is passion to tackle and produce a thought, whatever the issue, then I will not second guess myself again.

I was raised Christian. I spent a good portion of my youth and my 20’s away from the faith, and then rediscovered it all just before I turned 30. I preface this line of thinking and writing with that to say that obviously I have certain beliefs. We all do, whether a person of any kind of faith or someone who has no beliefs in a higher power. We go about our lives either the way we were taught as a child who has learnt from a parent, or we choose our own path, regardless of upbringing. This is the way we live our lives, am I wrong?

In line with my beliefs, I don’t agree with people of the same sex being together. That statement right there can pack a huge punch to many, as I have already encountered. But please, allow me to proceed.

Recently, I expressed my ideas on writing about this topic to a fairly new acquaintance, and the feedback I received was positive, then negative. The first comment was “you should express yourself, but be ready to back yourself up”, and then I got “I never pegged you to be associated with bigotry, and you need to stretch your vision and be more accepting”. An ex girlfriend said something similar as well, that I need to be open. By definition, bigotry deals in fear and hatred toward a sexual orientation, in short form and applicably said. This judgement, along with my apparent “narrow-mindedness” upsets me, and has impassioned me, in fact, as the basis of this blog. In accordance with my beliefs, I have no hatred towards gays. I am not in a state of fear in regards to them or what they stand for. It isn’t a matter of I-need-to-be-more-open to it/them. We’re called to love everyone, and of course treat all with respect. I can embrace the person, just not the lifestyle choice.

Does that make me horrible? Small minded? Why!? If one of my children was to see two men kissing, it wouldn’t be normal for them and that’s just how it is. There’s no hatred going on. There’s no living under a rock and maybe I need to expand my viewpoint. No. I understand it all just fine.

You can choose to be current with society and accept anything and everything. Or you can pick and choose what you want to be accepting of. It is all our right, and just as I don’t hate on or fear other cultures, its the same with gays. Shouldn’t I also be respected as I have my beliefs and choose to live how I want?

The last thing I’m going for here is preachy. This is no lecture. This is a man whose pointing out repression, on the opposite end of the typical spectrum. That bothers me, to be called things I am not. We need to put a voice to our thoughts, especially when the topic makes us feel alive. I’m no expert on homosexuality…far from it! But that’s not what this is about. Can you see?


Love is love15 July 2014 16:16

This post is hilarious! If this is your attempt at sitcom material, you’ll be wildly successful. You sir, are a white male. As that stands, you are not an apparent member of an oppressed group. You are not a woman, you are not a person of colour, you are not someone with a disability, you are not homosexual, etc. That being said, you do not need to be a member of an oppressed group to acknowledge that oppression exists and stand up to it. Your kids seeing two men kissing wouldn’t be normal? It wasn’t normal back in the day for people who are black to be treated as contributing society members instead of slaves. It wasn’t normal for black and white people to share the same water fountain and go to the same school. All of these past lessons in history reinforce that our discrimination of others is socially constructed and has no merit. Your point you used definitely isn’t helping you look less like a bigot. Kris, the same time you decided to be a heterosexual male is the same time others decided to be homosexual. At birth. It isn’t a choice. Prefacing this blog post with your reawakening to Christianity is sad. You are using religion as a scapegoat for your feelings of discrimination. Religion can be a beautiful thing and it too has been evolving. Tolerance isn’t the same as acceptance and I would never want to teach my own children that it is. Love is love. As a homosexual person myself, I will teach my kids this one day when I am living with my same sex partner. This world is evolving into a wonderful place of diversity, and I hope that you one day accept that it is not going to remain a White Male’s world forever. If one of your children end up being gay, I hope you have it in you to change your mind into thinking that homosexuality isn’t just a lifestyle choice. We are all people first. I ask that you think about that. We all want acceptance, love, belonging, etc. Some of us love those with the same genitalia. Some of us love those of different colours, abilities, and religions. Question things more in life. Use your critical thinking skills to question a book that is thousands of years old and has numerous other rules that are not followed. At least try. Or your blog image background of books will be highly humorous for the few people who glance at your written musings.



Kris Bobosky17 July 2014 08:55

You’ve obviously completely missed the point but I am grateful my writing spurred you enough to take the time to write such a long winded tale to attempt of “enlightening me”. Bottom line… What you just said is YOUR truth, and all the power in the world to you if you want to feel it, speak it, write on it, whatever. The same goes for me and MY TRUTH and how I live my life. Apparently, you are not capable of seeing that and THAT is what is truly sad.


Love is love17 July 2014 16:23

Oh man. I think everyone will miss the point if you can’t articulate it well enough. You are a “disciplined mind” not an “enlightened mind.” Whatever that even means. You’re definitely not talking about Gardner’s five minds of the future. Poor you. You’re repressed because you can’t freely speak your mind even though it’s your right. It may be your right, but it isn’t necessarily RIGHT. Especially if you can’t justify your reasons. You can’t just say something like I don’t believe homosexuals should be together, just because that’s your opinion and not give adequate support to it. It is apparent through your writings that you have a victim complex. All these women who break it off with you, not having a job, not being able to voice your opinions, etc. Wah wah wah. You know what, it is sometimes true that you “get what you put out.” With your disguised bigotry, it is no wonder you are back living with your mom, jobless, and single. You remind me of Men’s Rights Activists. Blaming all of the women that you dated in the past without considering any of your own accountability. Making jokes about calling yourself gay because you clean house. It isn’t even funny. I am done writing responses by trying to educate you, which you call trying to enlighten. Ignorance is not bliss. Your career as a writer will not take off. Consider yet another job or at least a writing workshop so you can create something with actual substance. When I think of something with a “disciplined mind”, I think of sheep…



Kris Bobosky17 July 2014 18:34

Hahaha oh man, that was funny to read. Can’t really fathom why you’ve bothered not just once but twice to vent silly things but good on ya I guess for trying. Take care.

Kris Bobosky17 July 2014 18:37

And I’m jobless, single and women broke up with ME?! Thanks for being clueless and again not seeing things that are actually written as plain as day. But at the end of the day, I’m genuinely glad you a) gave them a read and b) took time to respond. Whether good, bad, totally wrong or right on the money..I like feedback.

Kris Bobosky17 July 2014 18:40

Oh haha and last but not least, the gay housecleaning thing was a question someone asked of me, so I chose to title that post in reference to that. Again, actually read before you put silly comments.

2 responses to “A Disciplined Mind vs. An Open Mind”

  1. This was an interesting read for sure. The replies were just as interesting.

    1. I had mixed emotions with both writing this and responded to that one persons responses, as well as a couple other people thru private message. I felt like I really wanted to express myself and I’m glad I did, regardless of that persons inability to grasp why I did it and what I was actually saying.

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