And When You’re in Control

What a world! One minute you’re down on your luck, unemployed, feeling beaten and not in control of a whole lot, and the next you’re thriving and you have three great employment opportunities in front of you. Life, in all its crazy hardships, sometimes tosses us a hall pass of sorts, and the lame thing about it is that this feels weird. In a sane world, it should be the norm for blessings and good things to come and be received, and the trials and difficult times should be what feels odd to us, ya?

A few months back, I quit my job and then found myself unemployed for two months. The quitting was voluntary; the two month period was not. I applied at what seemed like everywhere and couldn’t find a fit. It was, as they say, ridonkulous. That was my “night”: a dark, scary, trying time of fumbling around and finding nothing while getting nowhere. No, I’m not scared of the dark. Work with me here!

Today is my “day”. I have a job that is good and I am wanted at, but the employer doesn’t have adequate yearly work so he’s encouraged me to look elsewhere. Yesterday, I secured a great job with great pay, and it’s local though it is highly physical and I would again be dealing with “the elements”. Today, I was offered a third position, with pay that exceeds the others, it’s indoors and I will be managing people, with the only drawback being the hour commute.

I know what I would like to choose and I have made said choice, but that isn’t what this posting is about. How wonderful I have felt all day today. Options are in front of me, and no matter how foreign, the ball is in my court. I haven’t felt control for some time now, and today, I realize how much I value it.

How tragic it is when we have no control. Our position in this, here in this first world country, is nothing like how horrid it could be elsewhere. Sure, I did not have steady income for a brief amount of time; but I have friends and family, and other avenues of filling those temporary gaps and struggles. I can’t fathom the literal world of difference a starving child or family faces in Africa, for example. Lack of control definitely takes on a new meaning.

So today, I revel in this peace. I feel happy, and I feel secure, and watched over. I want more of this feeling. I long for it to be my normal.

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