Well over two weeks has passed since my last posting and it feels odd that so much time has gone by. I haven’t been lazy! I haven’t lacked creativity! I didn’t even die! What I have been doing is writing and creating way more than I normally do. I have officially begun work on my sitcom.

Its been a rush of emotion, one might say. Since conception, the idea to pursue crafting a television show has been one long learning curve, and I am still processing daily. The difference now is instead of thinking about how my own pilot project would look like and what I need to make it work, at this point I am actually making it happen. It feels wonderful! There’s a strong degree of fear, fleeting thoughts of self-doubt, a daunting sense of “will the humour translate” and an overall peace stemming from the strong drive that I have to succeed.

Protagonist, secondary characters, their back stories and how they interact with each other…check. Title and premise…check. Beat sheet and pilot episode outline are complete. And last night, I began “putting pen to paper” with the first draft beginning with the cold open/teaser. You know….that first introductory scene that sets the tone and introduces the main characters before the opening theme/credits.

In the actual business of writing for an existing show, these people are on tight deadlines, usually whipping up a full episode within a week. I will be accustom to that one day, and as well, considering all shows have a team of writers beyond the pilot episode, which will speed up the process indefinitely. As my own personal deadline, for this first sitcom writing endeavour, I have given myself a month and a day. That’s right…that extra day could make this! I can’t see it breaking it.

I feel as though I am “on” the sixteen to eighteen waking hours I endure each and every day. I want to stay sharp. I need the creativity strong, and I want “the funny” to be interwoven in everything. I thought dialogue might be hard to create, to make authentic and to be riddled with hilarity. This is not the case, as it seems to flow with all the rest of the process. Again, it all stems from, “You are what you eat”, or “What goes in, comes out”. I AM A TELEVISION COMEDY WRITER AND IT’S WHAT I DO.

I am amazed at how therapeutic this all is. Coming into “my own”, it has opened my eyes to see glimpses at the very core of who I am. For a good chunk of my childhood, I stuttered horribly, mostly with my mother. It was so bad that my only means of communication with her was through handwritten notes, as I was unable to verbalize how I was feeling and what I so badly wanted to say. Looking back, I feel like this union of only expressing myself through writing has solidified my emotions connected with truly communicating what it is I need to say. Words are my oldest, dearest friend. When I was trapped in my brain and body, written word was the only way I could “be normal” and I can embrace that now maybe more than ever.

Another thing I have considered to be true lately is how it is that I have remained single all these years. It hasn’t been for lack of trying, being closed off, not being attractive enough or any other silly logic. Heck, I was briefly engaged a couple years back! I have had my share of what I call mini relationships, but I am never satisfied so they don’t go the distance. I don’t consider there to be anything wrong with me, as though I prevent my own “happiness” via a better half/spouse. I am now convinced that it stems from my calling as a writer. I see that for me to be following this dream, this goal…I need to be single. Sure, I work and I raise three children but none of that prevents me from what I want to accomplish. For me to have the time to create and the drive to eventually make the transition to life in Los Angeles, I cannot be involved with a woman. And that’s fine. It’s good.

I’m a race horse whose bucked off his jockey and can see the finish line. I’m frothing at the mouth, bitin’ on my bit and my blinders are keeping me looking forward. I’m untouchable. I’m a friggin Stallion.

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