Is there a time and place where compromising ones values is not only okay but is also not really considered a compromise and instead is more so just the wisest move to make?

Hi. My name’s Kris and I have a dilemma which needs resolve like yesterday.

Let me give it up straight: I am a Christian, as is my girlfriend Krista. Our belief is to be married first before living together. Thing is…even though we both intend on marrying one another, we don’t want it happening overnight. And the dilemma before us is that due to my work, I need to move from where I currently reside for it to make any sense, and to stop throwing away money into the gas tank.

I can continue to reside with my mother, along with my three children, and do the hour commute daily. What I’m currently doing is staying with Krista four nights a week and three at “home”, which, is “part-time living together” so pretty much the same as if it were full-time.

Third option requires the most effort but the both of us our more than “game”, and that is to pull the kids from their school, put them in a new one mid-year in February and live as a family, all the while fully intending on marrying in the spring or summer, exempting us from the “living in sin” title, if that were even possible. Still with me?

So there it is. The intentions are pure but with the brain on. Does a man continue to drive two hours a day (on top of a driving job) and burn $700 a month on gas just to avoid the sin-living title?

My son of 15 years is vehemently against the notion of us shacking up pre-marriage, and I gotta say that inspires me in my Christian walk. But making the executive decision as all parents should, bottom line is we know what is right and will make it so. Soon, just not today.

Messy. I am discrediting myself by doing the move? I’m definitely putting stress on my children with the mid-year school switcheroo. But see, the alternative makes no sense whatsoever.

In our soon approaching future, as a family, we will face two more big moves, if not more. All of us can adapt. Change propels us. None of it’s easy and I don’t want it that way anyway. I just want to do what’s right, and equally do what’s smart.

Ugh. I hoped through “talking this out” I would have a sense of peace of what direction to go. I wanted clarification. I needed our rudder locked in place. Hand-forcing is not my style so we wait, wishy washy. Ugh!

3 responses to “Make a Move, Guy”

  1. Kris.
    The struggle is real. Do what is right in Gods eyes. Keep driving, get married sooner than later and listen to your son. That’s one smart boy.
    Be blessed.
    Chrystal Saxby

  2. Kris.
    I know that you two are doing the right thing:-):-) I welcome you and the three children into our Family with open arms..
    Love Mom Bedard

    1. Janet,
      Such sweet words! I’m very excited to meet you!

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