Defining Me

We all have many defining moments in our lives, peppered in amongst all the bland and mundane sequences. I feel like it’s an important inventory to take: the act of looking back and understanding ourselves better, regardless of the reasoning. Maybe you wanna discover why you’re such a doucher. Or is it you’d like to pinpoint when you lost all faith in the opposite sex. I’ve often wondered why I stuttered so badly as a child and teen, exclusively so with my mother.

Live vicariously through me for a sec. I’m going to do the inventory but without direct reasoning. A lot of detail isn’t necessary; simply enough to fill in the gaps surrounding “the moment” in each scenario.

*Parents getting a divorce*
That paved the way for me feeling I had the strength, many years later, in me instigating and carrying out my own divorce. Ouch but true.

*Leaving the church*
I made many bold moves during this “rebellious ” teenage time and the independence that came with it was intoxicating. Literally.

*Staying with the girl I impregnated*
How could such a careless move end up being one the best parts of my existence?! Enough said.

*Leaving the girl I impregnated(years later version)*
Definitely the boldest move I have ever made. On one side: the loss of my kids and the life that was mine. On the other: pure freedom and a chance for us to break free as we should have, and did. I powered through with the right choice.

*Following my heart*
Time and time again, this tactic has led me exactly where I needed to be. Whether briefly throwing me off of “my course”, and has had me awakening in some harsh realms, but I’ve always been guided home. Spirit led.

This was extremely brief but hopefully you get what I am putting down. I posted on hindsight previously but this is a new take.

We’re warned to never look back. But often times it’s the only way we can move forward.

By Hearts Erased

A blogger for 6 years, I now have my poetry collection being published.

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