The Title is Entitled

How monumentally have you screwed up in your life? Were there ever such a chain of events that seemed to feed itself and the more it ate, the bigger it got? How did you cut off its proverbial head and how did you dig yourself out of the hole you were in? Did you do it alone?

While saying very little, I have a lot to say. The past week and a bit have been a harsh wake up to my wife and I. During a series of events, we find ourselves at low points and clawing and climbing our way out.

It’s messy. It’s stressful. Yet we know we’re moving in the right direction and are therefore blessed as we move forward.

It’s as though we’re back at square one, and the life lessons keep a-comin’. It’s been a rough run, and now throw in the mix the fact that my vehicle is currently parked and hers has major issues. Let the good times bowl.

In the midst of all this, I feel entitled to good things and I will explain why. First off, it’s wrong of me to…I fully get that. But the process, to me anyway, makes sense. (Those of you who don’t see things through Christian eyes, take a glimpse for a moment at the thought process).

I’ve made a bunch of bad life decisions as of late, harmful to not only me but those around me. I have done a complete 180 from the destructive path I was on and am now making smart choices. Moral choices. Christian choices. Not “Ugh, what is wrong with me” choices.

Do I deserve a medal, a seat at The Royal Families dinner table and a cheque for $25 million bucks? I wish. Do I, in actuality, deserve anything from anyone or from God Himself? Absolutely not.

So why do I feel a sense of entitlement in regards to my wakening? Who am I to be rewarded?

I think of the story of the Prodigal Son. It tells of a son whom takes his inheritance given by his father and goes to live in a distant land. He squanders everything and lives in debauchery, ultimately leading himself to life on the streets, out of his head and not a penny to his name. He returns home and his father not only welcomes him with open arms but he gives his son every good thing that he deserveth not. His father knew he would come close to death but now celebrates his return with many blessings.

Again, I deserve nothing. I demand nothing. I’m grateful that my heavenly Father doesn’t hate me, but His grace covers me then and now, and all is forgiven. My entitlement is wrong in feeling that we chose correctly now, so there should be reward. This is reward and multiple blessings, but I should not expect a thing. I’m rich enough as is.

By Hearts Erased

A blogger for 6 years, I now have my poetry collection being published.

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