Don’t Tell Me Where to Park

Ok, so handicapped parking I get. Whatever the issue, whether physical or mental, if you have the blue wheelchair sign hangin’ from the rear view, you’re covered. You’re golden. You are alotted amazing parking options, whether it be a mall, restaurant, church.. you name it. From time to rare time, I will park there but only if I’m picking up a child or a wife or what have you. Otherwise, it’s off limits. I get it.

Semi-recently, or so it seems, I’m seeing “Parent parking/Expectant mothers” spots right next to almost all handicapped spots and I think it’s ridiculous, if not sexist, if not just plain stupid with a capital Sssss. And if that wasn’t the most opposite of the cats pajamas, today at a grocery store, I saw spots reserved for old people! The humanity.

Who sanctioned these? And more so, who doesn’t park there? I sure do. I’m pretty sure soon we’ll be seeing segregated religion parking spots, atheists at the further most region of the parking lot quadrant. I also expect to soon see police spots, doctors spots and maybe even school teacher spots. Maybe they’ll start doing slash ones, grouping different categories to fit us all. The legal parking stall for me might read “Writer/father/gym rat”. Don’t EVER take my spot. Or there could be one for “Drug dealer/son/animal lover”. Possibly a “Homeless/scared/unshowered” spot, though only the size of a shopping cart because they don’t own cars.

Back to the expecting mothers/new mothers spot.. I used to run family day homes for years and quite often I would take 6 kids including my own 2 to a store or library. So ,where’s the child worker spot or the single, struggling dad spot? I understand you might be pregnant or that you have a new born but guess what, girlfriend? Why do you get the easy road in the parking life? What about the guy with the hangover, where’s his spot? I understand your water might break at any moment but do you understand that I could slip on a banana peel and shatter every bone in my body and I don’t get preferential parking!

I could go on about this topic for days but I’d bore myself and you as well. I’m going to go down to city hall first thing Monday morning and reveal my list of new stall ideas. Heck, I’ll even paint it on the spots myself, allowed or not allowed. Sometimes we got to take matters into our own hands.

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