We have been running into major difficulties with my twin daughter’s as of late and the troubles seem to escalate, dare I say, daily.
Origins of the behaviours.
Without too much back story, as even just a little would fill up this blog space, my girls have always had the deck more-than stacked against them. Paralysis (temporary but still) from immunizations and no doubt the mastermind behind ninety percent of their undiagnosed behaviours was problem number two. Number one was an extremely premature birth.
Separation from their bio mom (though never as doubted even by her that they were and are better off being raised by me) contributed. Moving schools and cities have contributed. Their hypothyroidism has been a factor, as their peers and brother grows, they remain practically the same.
The newest major change in their young life has been the addition of a wife to their daddy, equating a step mom for them to love and be loved by. It hasn’t been easy… just ask any of the four of us involved. Two years in to this marriage and they still barely listen to or respect her. I hoped for unity and a better life for us all and in that sense, it’s only gotten worse.
Fast forward to this past summer and fall where we moved to a new city and the girls got lost on their way home from the park. For 6 hours, they walked in generally one direction, somehow assuming they’d get to their own front doorstep. Through many tears and heart felt prayers, and a call to the police, they were located and brought home safe, though disheveled, scared and cold. And then when school fired up, they missed the bus a hand full of times getting lost on the way to or from.
Things were definitely unraveling.
Over the subsequent autumm and now into the winter months, each day is a trial. Actually, rarely one trial but several and painful. The art of being instructed what to do, then not doing what they were told to do and then the fallout of us finding out and the painful conversations sounding like this.
Parent: We’ve told you time and time again to NOT going into our bedroom and definitely not to steal things that do not belong to you. Why did you do it?!!
Twin A or B: (lengthy pause) I don’t know.
Always the ‘I don’t know’. You can see the blankness in their faces when they deliver this wretched answer. They are lost inside and as much as it infuriates us, it is monumentally so sad.
We never asked for these extra challenges as parents and they don’t deserve to not understand themselves, let alone us or anyone else. We need outside help and are desperately looking into many angles including their native band, government support, medical doctors, respite care and anything in between to make this journey just one iota easier for us all.
I have no doubt that, with help, prayer and time, the girls will be able to live the closest to normal lives as possible as they advance into adulthood. However, as of now, we’re functioning in a world of total darkness, with the four of us walking head first into corners and dead ends, where everybody ends up worse off and hurting. One foot in front of the other I guess, all the while keeping fingers crossed that a flashlight or me God, a massive floodlight been shone on the road ahead of us.