The self wants what the self wants.
We are truly selfish creations. It’s every man for himself at the end of the day. Varying degrees of course, say for example if you are a parent then you’ve learnt to put someone else first (or most of us parents have any way). Still a selfish individual at heart but you’ve shown yourself (and the world in which you live) that you are capable of putting that torch down, even if only for a few short moments.
We get hungry. We get tired. We get cold. We can be lonely. We can be needy. We get sick. We lose important people in our lives. We feel cheated. We get jealous. We get down and sometimes find it hard to get back up. The struggle is real and the struggle is practically hourly. The struggle is across the board and the struggle is internal, and never easy.
Depressed yet?! This is only a small list of our daily dilemmas but you get the idear.
We also can be givers and lovers and happy etcetera but ultimately, we serve ourselves. We fight against it though. As a Christian man, we learn about putting others first and giving up oneself for a higher cause and I’m all for it. It’s a discipline I believe I have ingrained in my psyche, no matter how selfish I truly am inside. It’s work and an ongoing work in progress, as it should be. But no matter how trained or untrained I am, I still find myself putting numero uno first.
It isn’t right. It isn’t healthy nor good. A lot of opportunities in life get missed. A lot of relationships may sour because of it. Your job may suffer. Your children. Your spouse. Your relationship with your higher power.
We are at war with it and the deck is stacked. The self wants what the self wants.