The Family Pest..uhh, Pets.

I love looking at life through the eyes of my children. In viewing a favorite movie, or them opening Christmas gifts or the simple joy of praise from their parent, giving them a sense of confidence. I’m constantly watching for it. But what about life through the eyes of my household life, money and emotion suckers.. the cats?

I’m talking about one Nigel and one Whitney. Two buttheads but beautiful ones at that. Let us take a deeper looksee.

Nigel

I stumbled upon Nigel. My wife at the time wanted a pet so she sought and picked out Nigel. I came up with the name (I say that as though I cured cancer) for her when we were under the impression she was a he. Obviously later, when he went into heat, it became known that he was a she.

But the name stuck. And from day one, she was not the typical feline. Words like jerk and arsehole come to mind. She will never jump up and sit on your lap. If you corner her and pet her, her tail will move like the dickens, signifying her discomfort. And she will bite, daily in fact, from petting. If you call her name, she won’t look at you yet if she wants some treats, she acts as though she’s the most loving pet this world has ever seen.

I often wonder what’s going on in her fluffy cat head. Her expressions typically match her bitchy demeanor. I picture she holds us all in the most contempt, only momentarily happy when she is fed. She looks at life like a sour puss and I firmly believe I need to introduce a cat whisperer into the mix with the hopes of rewiring her immensely rude brain to be a normal, loving cat. The process I know she would hate and that itself gives me brief pleasure, as does imagining freeing myself of her gloomy misdemeanour by simply letting her outside and never looking back. How did I get here? I don’t know but it’s definitely her fault.

Whitney

After the ex wife moved out, the second door prize was her abandoning/leaving Nigel with us. Some time went by and I figured she would like a compadre or a partner in kitty krime, if you will. So I conjured up Whitney (my kids named her..), a Bengal/Siamese mix. Now this was a normal cat! Cuddly, affectionate and nothing like Nigel. Whitney is majestic as she is domestic. She’s unemployed but she’s neither null nor void.

Sometimes I sit back (as opposed to sitting front) and I gaze at little Whitney Spears. I feel like she’d look really comfortable in a snug turtleneck. And I also often imagine what is happening in her medulla oblongotta. I honestly don’t think it gets very deep with her. If Whitney and Nigel had a think-off, though downright evil, Nigel would saunter away with the medal. Whitney thinks of new places to nap, where did she lose that toy and food. These are the basics to what I believe is healthy cat rationale.

Alas, seeing life through the eyes and hearts of two house cats, though polar opposites, matters little. I am serious about the whisperer however. If nothing is changeable with Nigels outlook on life, maybe this person could convince them to be glad they aren’t chickens. Or pigs. Or any edible item in the food chain. Or that I am not Chinese. If they were to grasp these simple truths, they might be just a fraction more grateful and at the end of the day, that’s really all one can ask for.

26 responses to “The Family Pest..uhh, Pets.”

  1. Laughing at the female cat named Nigel; great read! I love cats but they’re switchable arseholes that will gladly take on something ten times their size. Gotta admire that I suppose..

    • Thank you! I admire your writing. I would love to guest write for you..thoughts? Desperately trying to build a following. Very frustrating getting 15 to 20 reads per post…

  2. Hello! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering if
    you knew where I could find a captcha plugin for my comment form?
    I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having problems finding one?
    Thanks a lot!

  3. It’s appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to be happy.
    I’ve read this post and if I could I wish to suggest you few interesting
    things or advice. Perhaps you can write next articles referring to this article.
    I wish to read more things about it! I’ve been surfing on-line more
    than 3 hours these days, but I by no means found any fascinating article like yours.
    It’s beautiful worth enough for me. Personally, if all
    webmasters and bloggers made just right content
    material as you did, the net shall be much more helpful than ever
    before. Everyone loves what you guys are usually up too.

    Such clever work and coverage! Keep up the wonderful works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to my own blogroll.
    http://foxnews.org/

    My homepage :: Amy

  4. I have been exploring for a little for any high quality articles or blog posts on this sort of space .
    Exploring in Yahoo I finally stumbled upon this site. Reading
    this info So i’m happy to convey that I’ve an incredibly good uncanny feeling I discovered exactly what I needed.
    I so much indubitably will make sure to don?t disregard this web site and provides it a glance on a continuing basis.

    Also visit my homepage … http://www.groovyfreeads.com/user/profile/100923

  5. First off I would like to say terrific blog! I had a quick question that I’d like to
    ask if you don’t mind. I was curious to know how you
    center yourself and clear your thoughts before writing.
    I have had a tough time clearing my thoughts in getting my thoughts out.
    I truly do take pleasure in writing but it just seems like the first 10
    to 15 minutes are generally lost just trying to figure out how to begin. Any ideas or
    hints? Thank you!

    Feel free to visit my homepage: DermaWorx Cream

  6. Hi there, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was just wondering if you get a
    lot of spam comments? If so how do you protect against it, any plugin or anything you
    can recommend? I get so much lately it’s driving me mad so any support is very
    much appreciated.

    my web page: Undiluted CBD

  7. What i do not understood is in truth how you’re not actually a lot
    more smartly-favored than you may be now. You’re very intelligent.

    You recognize therefore considerably when it comes to this topic, made me personally believe
    it from so many varied angles. Its like women and men are not interested until
    it’s something to accomplish with Girl gaga! Your individual stuffs nice.
    Always handle it up!

    Here is my website :: http://northleafmedicinalcbd.net/

  8. I have been exploring for a little bit for any high-quality articles or weblog posts on this sort of house
    . Exploring in Yahoo I ultimately stumbled upon this web site.
    Reading this information So i’m satisfied to convey that I have an incredibly just
    right uncanny feeling I came upon just what I needed.

    I most for sure will make sure to don’t forget this site and provides
    it a look regularly.

    Here is my web-site … http://herbalgrownhempoil.com/

  9. Hey! I know this is kind of off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this site?
    I’m getting tired of WordPress because I’ve had issues with hackers and I’m looking at alternatives for another platform.

    I would be fantastic if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.

    Feel free to visit my web-site … http://www.bostancibayanescort.xyz/author/davidatug63/

  10. Having read this I believed it was extremely informative.
    I appreciate you taking the time and energy to put this information together.
    I once again find myself personally spending a significant amount of time both reading and commenting.
    But so what, it was still worthwhile!

    Feel free to visit my blog xml

  11. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets
    I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates.
    I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would
    have some experience with something like this. Please let me know
    if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look
    forward to your new updates.

    my web blog – Back

  12. Right here is the right site for anybody who would like to
    find out about this topic. You realize so much its almost hard to argue with you (not
    that I actually will need to?HaHa). You definitely put a fresh spin on a topic that’s been written about for many years.
    Great stuff, just great!

    Have a look at my web blog http://65.110.83.124/install/UserProfile/tabid/43/UserID/321341/Default.aspx

Leave a Reply to http://theuniversityofbread.com/forums/users/constance8409/ Cancel reply

%d bloggers like this: