Too Long It’s Been (Getting Me Back).

You ever have one of those days where you’ve just moved, you’re trying to focus at work while your ex-landlady is trying to keep $1000 or more of your deposit money, you’re getting texts from your teenage daughter saying they ate the supper at 4pm and can they walk to a store they know not how to get, plus you have to help move your son out after work tomorrow?

That was me four days ago. I found myself, a guy who is generally carefree as the skies allow, swallowed up by nerves and exhaustion. Finally into the first day of my weekend, the screeching halt to a very intense week feels incredible. I feel like I want to apologize for posting so sparsely this past month. It’s been a ride point 5 but still it’s no excuse for failing to put pen to paper.

That was then. This is now. And things are about to get really good. You know that feeling where a season has ended and all that lived with it has died and is gone, and a fresh new season is upon you? That’s where I’m at. In the thick of it and loving it. It’s about time I got a life upgrade.

Too long it’s been I can barely look myself in the eye. Too long its been that life is living me instead of me living it. Too long it’s been I cave to things that have caved me. Too long it’s been I’ve lacked the confidence to embrace who I really am. Too long it’s been this paparagraph.

Like in past posts, I realize I can’t just say “I’m morphing!” Or “I’m better now”. Snap them fingers and voila. I need a period of cocoonment. I need to look inward to initiate the growth that I want to see balloon in me. I need to do three simple things.

Throw out all that you know

Remember that sexy beast Al Einstein and his definition of insanity? Stop running in circles. This is the not so simple part. Do everything different. You like being alone? Go out with a friend. Like watching tv before bed? Go for a run. Nothing will change until you create change.

Seek your higher power

The good Flinstone on your shoulder? The universe? Jesus? Realize and really process that we aren’t alone in this world. Then include him/them. Talk to them. Lose yourself. Stretch your faith and your hope. It wasn’t you that put yourself where you are, fully. Stars aligned. Discover those stars and bask in their immensity.

Don’t look back

When you’re flyin’ down the highway, you’ve made your choice. You may switch lanes but you’re moving forward and quickly. Don’t stop and play with dead things. The deceased remnants of your past. They are not your present or your future. Don’t ever look back.

Stated as simple, you know full well none of this is. But like any habit whether bad or good, once you do it and keep doing it you’re on track. This is what I am wanting and working towards. What about you?

By Hearts Erased

A blogger for 6 years, I now have my poetry collection being published.

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