When Bad Things Happen To Bad People (Maybe I’m The Boogeyman).

I always considered myself one of the good guys but lately I’m reassessing to think that maybe I’m actually a bad, bad man. One could look at the crap run I’ve had this year and quickly deduce it was my turn for the karma machine if you’re a karma kinda chameleon. This guys maybe done enough rotten stuff and had enough bad thoughts that it’s his time to be paid back and I don’t mean in a good way.

Let’s just run with this for a minute or two. I know I’m no saint. I don’t volunteer at hospitals or soup kitchens. I’m not known as a wealth of generosity. I don’t profess to not judge people on a daily basis. I’m greedy. I feel often cheated and I want my revenge.

I raise my children but not always with a thankful heart. I entertain thoughts of vengeance or getting back at those that have caused me pain. I’m selfish. I’m often entitled. I can be rude. I don’t help as much as I could.

Now that I’ve magnified a few of my faults, does that qualify me as an inherently bad person? Someone who deserves the short end of the stick? Somebody that should continue to barely stay afloat opposed to flourishing in this life? And who should judge this? Myself? Others?

Maybe accepting that I’m not a good guy would be the best thing for me, say similar to a person battling with their sexuality. Maybe a gigantic peace would crap itself on me in saying “Hey world, I’m a creep, carry on.” Maybe?

This beast in me is in all of us. The only difference is how much you let it out to play. I don’t do it for fun. It doesn’t energize me for the week, whereas a good church service would. But it doesn’t run me. It doesn’t dictate my choices and decisions.

I know I’m not bad. I’m not evil and I’m far from the devil. But the gap doesn’t seem so big between the good guy and the not. I’m not saying the gray is okay but for today, it’s where I’ll stay.

Where do you fall?

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