Once again, I’m basking in the glamor and the glitz of emerge at the Children’s Hospital. With my Lexis as the star of the day, we arrived on the red carpet at high noon. Paparazzi swarmed the fences, and clutter and chaos ensued. Imagine 1200 doctors, nurses and patients chanting your name! Young Lex had made the grandest of appearances. Regal does not scratch the surface.
We immediately bypass any and all line-ups and are whisked away with fairy dust and blue birds fluttering all around. I believe at one point a magic carpet carried young Lexis soulfully down the remainder of the glorious hall to her bed fit for a princess, or dare I say queen.
There were beautiful musicians playing flutes and lyres while an ancient midget known only as Pistachio massaged Lex’s scalp. As the good doctor waxed relective on his patients medical history, the actual living breathing lions from the movie The Lion King sashayed into the grand room. They comforted sweet Lexis with tales of the past and plans for a sequel entitled “LK2:Home for the Holidays”, a Christmas tale like no other.
There were beauties and there were beasts. There was a gargantuan eye widening feast. Through all the fantastic hubbub, I couldn’t tell fiction from fantasy. Were the doctors actually doing anything or were we all just so starry eyed by the amazing culture we were amidst we couldn’t see the florist from the golf tees?
She didn’t have much struggle with the urine sample as the mice from Cinderella did all the collecting and whatnot. The song “Bibbi-Di Bobba-Di Boo” was never the more enchanting. The enima I figured wouldn’t be so pleasant but the entire cast of the Berenstain Bears entertained her til the blueness in her face was dissipated.
After that, popsicles rained from the heavens (quite literally) as Pooh Bear and Tigger did a mind numbing duet in the vain of 1970’s pre-circuit Aerosmith. This led into a flawless rendition of Aladdin’s “Arabian Nights” and joining Pooh and Tigger was none other than her majesty Celine Dion, wearing a dress so elegant, made of one giant sequin.
I had to give myself a pinch as myself and little tiny Lexis did not want this divine 6 hour stay to end but alas, all glorious things must come to a stand still. As if our balloon was punctured from the inside, the entire ensemble of magical bliss vanished. It was just us within the four cold walled confines of the house of learned doctors. We were given the “You’re clear to leave” thumbs up so we plodded down the hallway and veared toward the exit and made our escape. True story.