Yesterday gave us all a taste of victory in this ongoing hospitalization of my daughter. Walking into the furnace bravely, consisting of a bone marrow biopsy and a broncoscopy, Lexis came out the other side as one might expect: super groggy and flat out doped up. But what was happening on the inside was, dare I say, a complete turn around from days prior and with a joy accompanied that made all around her mirror that classic Lexis smile. The worm has turned.
A new day has dawned and the weight of life just got a few pounds lighter. Still deep in the woods but her compass now works and an escape is very much at hand. The stars have aligned and.. ok, no more heavy cheese. It’s getting way too cheddary in here.
But this is life, folks, ya? You’re moving along and all is fairly monotonous. Birds are singing but we’re invested in the now. Work. Kids. Bills. Whatever. Then your car dies and it’s in the shop and you’re considering if it’s better to fix it or to have groceries. You’re hung up. You’re stuck. Everything shifts to focus on this new hurdle.
Same thing with an illness and a hospitalization. Everything goes on hold. You’re still in the now but the now is there. You’re trapped. And you can’t dig out. You need time to do it’s friggin thing. You have no control not that you ever did on your life as a whole to begin with.
We are minute to minute people. All of us are trapped by our phones. We’re hung up, yes, pun intended. We consider them part of our lives, like a new spouse or child but these things only take from us, they don’t give. If I could go a day without I would feel so lost, it would be painful. But to get back to the life you should be living, these devices should truly go bye-byes. Just another prison.
I gotta be honest, this was supposed to be an upbeat posting because I am unusually upbeat. But what can I say? Life is happening while you’re busy making other plans. Gouda! Jinx, you owe me a cheeseburger. And I digress.
Highs and lows. Greys and black n whites. The Amish and the non-Amish (I’m non-Amish by the way). I need to be in the now but I want to keep my head up more. I got to focus on the mountain in front of me but I want another set of eyes seeing through to the otherside. I have to leave my daughter by herself in this hospital but for the greater good, as one day soon she shall be set free.