Each year when December rolls around I get a childlike glee about me that lasts all month or at least until Christmas day. This has never really been disrupted my entire life, transitioning from a child myself to being to manchild briefly to having children and seeing it through their eyes. So it baffles and saddens me when I talk with someone that will be alone during this season and what’s worse, they don’t seem to care.
I work with alot of single people, either adults living at “home” aka with their parents or regular adults, for lack of a better word. Maybe they do get a lot of fiber, I mean it is a health store. All regularity aside, they don’t have the Christmases I have and I guess it’s just how it is.
Such sentiments are expressed like “Meh, it’s just another day” and “Christmas shmishmas” to the more so Scrooge interpretation. It rolls off ones back like it’s no big deal to not really be celebrating it but deep down it has to feel sad, especially on the day of. These sweet folks must know what they are missing. They must have fond memories as little children with visions of Santa and stockings and presents. And into their adulthood surely the joys inclusive and beyond all that like how good it feels to give, the happiness (usually) of being around family and the joy of a huge meal with great food followed by nostalgic desserts. Truly, there is a lot to be missed out on!
But as much as it’s my reality to feel a little down for these peeps, it’s not my battle and maybe I’m looking at it all wrong. A lot of single people living alone are living like that as a choice. These are the ones that have connections and have friends and get invites but they simply would rather avoid the whole holiday and again, it’s by choice.
Completely different though similarly a late twenty something year old living with mom, step-dad and two younger siblings might not complain. This is all they’ve known and this is how they like their Xmas, served with a side order of normality. This is not really by choice but more so just how it is and there’s nothing wrong with it.
The parallel is broad. There are many aspects of life that I don’t subscribe to or live my life directly involved with. But that doesn’t mean everything outside of me isn’t the way it should be. It shouldn’t be a sad thing that so-n-so has a different path than me, heaven forbid. Though in the same breath, there’s nothing wrong with me feeling compassion and wanting to at least try to extend the olive branch. Sharing is caring or is it caring involves sharing? My daughters say it all the time.
Pretty certain that the learning and the growing will never stop, at least until my mid-nineties. I will no doubt be a crotchety old man but at least someone who can still be open enough to see the perspectives of others. Though very fun to say, I will never utter “Christmas shmishmas” as my own sentiment. I love it too much. And for those out there that mean it, you’re welcome at my table any time. Merry Christmas!