I don’t know about you but for me there seems to often be a disconnect between priorities getting the right attention and real life staying its course. Quite regularly my heart is in one place at the start of the day, a war zone hits and then I’m over here picking up the pieces and procrastinating ‘tomorrow’ instead of achieving what I woke up demanding of myself today. Can’t I ever get it right?
The negative voices talk alot.
Lately I’ve been finding I’m okay and on track until I’m about two thirds into my day, mid-battle and the negative voices begin to check in and it’s always in question format. Can I do this? Why isn’t this working? What’s wrong with me? Why bother? Maybe just try tomorrow instead? The seeds of doubt are planted and often that’s all it takes to throw me off achievements scent. Now I’m treading water, surrendering to an unseen victor and burrowing my head in the sand, ass up. Dominated and counted out.
For what? Because I listened when I knew better. I need my armor on, always. And I also need weapons on hand, sharpened and ready. When I’m at work or at the grocery store or in the bath or commuting and these voices start to whisper I have to be on guard to dismantle them as they come. Why do I let them in to fertilize my already dry soil? They need to have their faces caved in. My magnetic shield needs to deploy and each syllable should be repelled off of it sending them back from whence they came. They should no longer be able to bind me or cripple me on any level but I must be prepared.
Remembering we aren’t alone.
In the thick of trying to accomplish tasks at work, prioritize the evenings duties and mentally downloading a new writing concept, I always think inwardly. Everyone does. It’s my life and I’m thinking my plans to help my life run as smooth as it possibly can. In those moments it does us no good to stop and think that the co-worker standing beside you is going through his own version of your struggle at that exact moment.. or does it? Knowing that doesn’t help lessen your load or give you any reprieve but I think it’s a warm reminder that we can only do so much. Remember those summer days as a child with nothing but time? Forget about it, those days are over! But mentally interlocking your arm with the similar sad soul next to you offers something that you might not expect. Try it sometime. Ya, you.
To receive we must give.
Robert K. Greenleaf said it well. “Good leaders must first become good servants”. In leading or not, a servants heart is a neccessary attribute in all we do. You’d like to be able to withdraw funds from your bank account when needed but if you didn’t bust your buns to make deposits first then you will have nothing to withdraw. You’d like to have a friend be there for you and listen to you and offer you help and good advice but first you must be that friend and give freely of yourself and serve them first.
This is definitely something I struggle with. You can make withdrawals without first making the deposits but it’s called debt and coercion. These are bad habits you do not want to get into. If I want to focus on my priorities I have to come at them the right way. Cutting corners is cheating and cheaters get beatings. Italics worthy maybe but since it’s my own and it’s half silly I’ll let it slide.
Maybe we aren’t supposed to get it right. One confession I can admit is myth or not, if I only use about 10% of my brain then there is a lot I can’t comprehend and filling each day the most appropriate way possible just isn’t in my cards. My own truth lies within my own expectations. I will miss the mark and I have to be okay with that but equally playing hardball and crushing it along the way.
Now sit back, open that cork or do whatever you do to relax. Let it sink in slowly and just be the best friggin you possible. Open up that inward thinking just enough to know that you aren’t alone and you never will be baby.