Hot Spit Tell Lies (Hospitalize).

Ever been trapped somewhere you don’t want to be and you’re tired and cranky and headachy and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it? I feel like a 260 pound baby in a soiled diaper but I mean complaining once in a while must be good for one reason or another, am I wrongo? I surrendered to this day, for the greater good of my daughters, to rise at 5:30am and be home maybe 2 or 3 in the afternoon. Hospital Hell, here we go.

Today was liver biopsy day for both Bobosky twins. A simple enough procedure taking literally 5 minutes plus prep and recovery time. I was there for twelve hours with them and it wasn’t anywhere near over. Whatever could go wrong did. Getting from A to B wasn’t a short, direct line. And now, at home in a hot salty bath, I can muster what little brain strength I have to relay the day of pure fun.

We arrive on time, my style personified. What could go wrong? We check in, girls git gown’d and I concur all their info to our nurse of the day, a condescending Nichole. But who cares about Nichole.. we aren’t here for luxury service. The biggest factor of the day is the present state of Lexis internally. We know her liver is fairly bad and we’re about to find out just how bad. Her spleen has been enlarged for like a year now. She has these varices inside her that may bleed out at any given moment. So before anything they want to draw blood and then give her this hour long transfusion that will help protect her from any bleeds that day (meanwhile an hour later she has a twenty minute nosebleed possibly hexing the entire operation but more on that later).

A couple hours later, the transfusion is finally set up and news begins filtering in that there are 3 emergencies bumping everyone around who’s on the list. Ultimately this will mean Lindsey would go into the OR at 1pm (instead of 950am) and Lexis at 2pm (as opposed to 850am). Good times, but not literally.

Between comings and goings I am able to finally shake the sleep out of my face and have something to eat. If I’m sitting somewhere without a thing to do I fall quickly into this maze of drowse where I just need to sleep so don’t interrupt me. Hard to do when you’re in a chair in a hospital room with nurses buzzing around and machines bleepin’ beeping their little automatic arses off.

By the time I wolf down a ham and cheese omelette paired with an ice cold oj, I’m back in the room and Lindsey has arrived and is awake. The announcement is made: she, my ticket out of there as Lexis has to stay the night, is on full bed rest until 6pm which means maybe an escape time of 7pm. That’s 12.5 hours total and that sucketh. My selfish yet needed snooze goals for the day are officially out the window but at least it’s almost over. And just like that my sweet, dear mother waltzes in, signaling the helping handoff.

Lexis’s heavy nosebleed earlier in the day came close to them canceling and that wouldn’t have made any of us happy. That kid can bleed and bleed well. Anywho the moral of the story is quite simple: never look a gift horsey in the mouth. And also life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. I struggle with going with the flow. This boy is a planner. But any plan can go off in your face like a ticklish time bomb, am I right? All just another day in my life, my friends. You can’t lose ’em all.