This second part (of 3? Maybe 4?!) has me delving into these areas of my life demonstrating actual growth. And only through making changes after first stepping back and seeing what I am dealing with. In my case it’s a lot!
What’s the term for somebody who has excess weight sitting on them, drinks regularly, has life threatening factors like choking in your sleep all night and is in pain while walking? A complete friggin idiot. Sounds harsh but consider that this same person has all the tools necessary to fix all of these problems but chooses not to. Ya. Idiot. That was me.
The kick in the butt for this character has been twofold. Firstly, taking Lexis to a naturopath last month has been an eye opener, not only for her but for me (ok, all of us, Lindsey included). I may not be flushing my liver as in depth as Lexis but my food choices have gone from crap to crap-free. I’m like 95% dairy free, I’m monitoring sugar intake, choosing whole grains, no junk food or soda and I’m on the wagon. How’s that for a flippin 180!
I honestly can’t even believe it myself. I’ve been famous for planning these illustrious diets then 3 days in.. fizzle fest. But this is ongoing. This is sticking. And this is no flash in the pansky gimmick diet; this is life changing choices, y’all and I’m lovin’ it. On top of this dietary blanket I have been in the gym 5 days a week and then finding myself on a 30 to 60 minute brisk walk in the evenings over various terrain such as dirt, lava and melting ice caps (and I prefer it in that order).
This change has been 100% about changing the way I think and adapting to a new way of doing something. A scary thing indeed, our brains. You can do the same things over and over for decades and then one day completely reshape your vision and not only take that sharp turn but enjoy it! I won’t skip the gym now, I can’t. The thought of cheese in my omelette may sound good but I’ll pass. There’s no detour worth it.
I feel like this part of me is either all or nothing and it should be. If I’m the God believing guy who reads his bible and raises his kids that way then that’s who I am. The problem is as simple as it is to dive in it’s equally easy to dive out. And that’s when I feel emptier than I should. So it’s back to the basics for this boy and I’ve slowly been waking up.
I’m discovering that the more I pray for others the more filled I become. Me wanting to be self-less is a bold thing; it’s not something I’m known to be. I’ve given up putting myself first a decade ago when my kids were born but this is a different kind of self-less. The desire to serve and not want the spotlight is not only forcing me to grow but it’s also leaving me never more satisfied.
And on top of that it’s just continual little things. A brief prayer. A few worship songs. A page or 2 from the good book. Heck, taking a moment of peace and just breathing. My spirit has been dried up and in the near fetal position. As the Tin Man needs oil in his joints I need life springing up inside of me, living spiritually on a full tank. And so I get there day by day.