You know that feeling when you have, what temporarily seems like, a bottomless supply of money in the bank or any excess in general at your fingertips? To the person who isn’t used to living with thousands of dollars in the bank it gives birth to several different emotions. Joy (of having), fear (of losing it), contentment (feeling safe) and it just not feeling right because it’s so strange.

And the only times I’ve been in this place was in atypical times such as my fathers passing or an insurance payout with long term strings attached. I don’t know the successful feeling that certainly must come with earning said excess. That “too much” has come with solely hard work and effective management.

That felt like one of the heaviest intros to my blog postings possibly ever and I did it for a reason. Without laying things out in black and white quite often we don’t learn the lessons we ought to be learning. I don’t function in excess. I operate daily in what I’d call just above survival mode. I’m not proud of it nor am I ashamed of it. I’m not over here waving the white flag. I provide for my kids and myself with all lifes necessities.

What we don’t do are the bi-yearly mega vacations. We don’t upgrade our vehicle often. I don’t invest in the stock market. I don’t know the perks so I don’t know what I’m missing. And that’s a good thing.

Now forget money and upgrades and financial status and take a step back with me. Any situation in life that you haven’t yet mastered will feel the same. New. Weird. Uncomfortable. For me I’ve used the past few months to really get my head on straight on see things differently. I’ve reset old thinking patterns and developed new, more positive ones and with it a sea of options has come with it. My new pile of excess. A bottomless pit of doing things better.

I now can say “I can afford” whereas before it was not often like that. I can afford to give my time to listen to that friend in desperate need of advice. I can afford to be more patient than ever because with maturity comes wisdom. I can afford to show my daughters the right way of doing things, over and over again if that’s what it takes. I can afford to stand up straighter than ever for my values and for my faith.

I can afford all these things because I now have a growing reserve on hand. Similar to a bank account.. if you have nothing in there then you have nothing to withdraw and nothing to invest.

Still Greek to me but I’m learning as I go. Life gets better. You become familiar with the new and other doors begin to open giving more and more opportunities to an attempted thriving life.

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