Settling Into Oblivion.

When does the next season of my life start?

I needn’t remind anyone of the year we’ve all been having. On top of March’s disturbance, throw in some sickness, hospital stays, time off work, personal healing and growth, kids transitioning to high school then now unable to get there and me going back to work. Been there. Done it all. So what’s next?

So far it just feels like more of the same and I don’t want that. I don’t want the mundane week in, week out grind where each day blurs into the next. I don’t want to hear myself exclaim “Can you believe it’s almost Christmas??” I want the new. I want anything different.

I think this is the first time in my adult life that I’m here in the now with this giant hunger for a new season of life but the only thing I’m seeing is to be more patient. And I don’t want to be more patient. I have reserves of patience up the wazoo. But what can be done? Like an armed thief robs a bank, can I steal what’s hovering over my life before it’s ready to drop?

Is there even anything around the corner waiting for me? Maybe there’s nothing new for me to sink my teeth into at all. Though I wish I could, these things are unplanned and they spring on us when least anticipated.

This is no doubt just wishful thinking. It’s probably best if I just settle back into oblivion and see where tomorrow takes me. After all, no matter how much control I momentarily think I have I am really just a pawn taken to advancement when I am moved. And until that moment comes allow me to unhappily go back to autopilot mode.

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