The year 2020 has brought many things, mostly stupid ones but it has a few more tricks up its ars.. uh, sleeve. One such trick of the trade is my twin daughters’ seventeenth birthday coming to a theatre near you this Saturday. This isn’t sweet sixteen and they aren’t quite legal adults but this one feels just as special.
I can’t help but imagine when say their twenty seventh birthday comes around, planning it will be the same. Will friends be allowed? Where will we go? Will there be lots of presents? This was the tale of the tape every year up to and including this one. Yes, typically children gradually mature and prefer things like their drivers license and a car over Archie comics and a new poster but with these two I’m afraid we are trapped in this tunnel for life.
Have they matured a bit since this time last year? I guarantee you they have. A slight degree and almost unnoticeable but there’s been growth. And this tunnel that I refer to.. is it really that bad? This is why I don’t stop and think much during this parenting ride because if I did I’d be a shameful ball of tears right now. What’s wrong with basically Groundhog Day-ing their birthday every year? Nothing. It’s fun. They have a good time and I’m happy to supply and deliver it. This is what it is.
What it is not is them melding into adulthood. Nothing blows my mind more than to consider my girls will be 18 this time next year. A minute ago I just mentioned that to them and Lindsey piped up saying she just wants to be a kid. And I don’t blame her. But how does that make me feel? I’m fine with them being “kids” and living here for another 5, maybe 7 years and then what? Is there going to be that point where I’m like “okay, you’re almost 30. What are we doing here?”
I don’t like looking too far down this road because I honestly can’t imagine them not being with me, in fact, I’m all teared up just thinking it. Will the day come where they share their own place and between myself and a respite worker we help out where we can but trust they can do most things just fine? Maybe a group home?
As long as they are together, that is key. My worst nightmare which I try to keep at bay is that one girl is one day lost, as in no longer with us. How could the survivor go on? They do everything together for seventeen years now. And who actually knows right.. as though it is an impossibility that one of them fall in love and marry! Doesn’t seem like an option at all but who am I to cast limits on these angels lives??
So let’s raise a glass and toast to current health and a fantastic year of growth to come. They are my limbs you cannot see. I am them and they are me. The greatest blessing God entrusted me with is these 3 kids, one of which is flourishing on his own. And if these girlies stay seventeen forever then that is what we shall do.