Pain.

It’s safe to say that a showdown between physical pain versus emotional pain would result in the emotional variant being the victor. The physical can make temporary babies of us, especially us men, but it is fleeting and we know this. Emotional pain, however, is layered and lasting, and we often don’t know it, especially while it’s happening.

But how about the two of them combined, as though enemy forces now joined as one strong unit, in full on attack mode against you. And as if that wasn’t a potent enough cocktail, the thralls of battling an addiction have also joined forces and are exacting an air strike. Still standing? I’m not. It hurts too much.

Come on, now. That’s not just it. It isn’t simply a storm of physical and emotional pain as well as a constant beating of demons; there’s more. Your self-titled deadbeat ex hasn’t paid the court ordered support in three months now and this comes in the air like a real pandemic, a sort of poisonous fume that your lungs can’t withstand. What should be smoothe sails financially as laid out and budgeted is defused and drained, adding to the stew of suffrage.

I guess ultimately it’s all topped up with a steaming life time supply serving of nobody gives a rats ass. It’s nobodies fault but my own. I’m focusing too much on my own life to invest in others so why should anyone care. And the one or two people that I do invest in don’t want anything to do with me so that’s that.

Goodness, I’ve rambled but my microphone is on so I might as well speak. Maybe it’s this intense back pain that’s got me all verbal. If I could stand up straight things might be different. If I wasn’t laid out like a corpse on a slab I might be less cranky.

Theoretically we are never given too much that we are unable to handle. Today things feel pretty friggin there.

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