They’ll Have To Come With Me When I Die.

Writing is my therapy, second to it being my passion. Fact. I can be somewhat passive aggressive so if you’re on my s-list then this domain is where I will let it out. Fact. Left alone, and I am alone alot, stuck in my own head, it’s not the greatest place to be. Also fact.

If you’ve ever seen the movie Spaceballs there’s a scene near the beginning where Dark Helmet asks the name of one of his henchman. The guy responds by saying his last name is A-hole. Dark Helmet asks the rest of his crew if there are any other A-holes on board. Most of them stand up and raise their hands. Dark Helmet responds with “Great. I’m surrounded by A-holes.”

My exact sentiments today, and these are supposed to be the closest people to me, family and friends. As outlined in my previous post, today I went through important legal paperwork pertaining to my twin daughters turning 18 later this year. One aspect was guardianship and of course I will continue being their legal guardian. Somebody needs to look out for them.

Secondarily, I needed someone close to us to be willing to sign on saying that if something were to happen to me then they would assume guardianship of the girls. Naively, I told the lady on the zoom call that that person would be the girls brother. After the call I ran it by him and asked for his address. Then I’m met with a very disturbing “No.” No explanation. Just a no. I ask why, and the response? He wants to have his own life.

I’m in shock at this point and without really processing what I just heard I decided to text my sister and enquire if her and her husband would be fine with it. “I don’t think this is something we can do for you” is what I get. Again, I keep things in more so than let them out so I responded with “okay.”

Next thing I know I’m sitting at the kitchen table, somewhere between violent anger, disbelief and utter sadness, with tears streaming down my face. What in the actual heck just happened?! Without even batting an eye, two of the closest people to us say no to assuring love and food to the ones I care about most.

Like, I’m assuming you didn’t stop and step outside your selfishness for a split second to realize that if I’m dead in the morning, the option these girls have are to try and somehow survive on their own, which they cannot. Or go live up in the bushes with their irresponsible, pathetic, deadbeat bio mom and be without medical care or anything they’ve known their whole lives, while she raises her 2 new babies at age forty whatever.

Ya, I’m really sorry to inconvenience you like this. How dare I bother your important lives! This leaves my 75 year old mother who would do anything for us at the drop of a hat but unfortunately she won’t live forever so that isn’t an option.

So I guess I take out an ad. “In the event that I die my family are complete a-holes and so is there any caring people out there that could provide a home and love?” Pretty messed up, ain’t it.

On the flip, if a family member asked to do this solid for them I would most definitely in a bloody heartbeat. Honestly, who wouldn’t? I really can’t stop shaking my head. Unbelievable.


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