I’ve been reading a couple of books simultaneously on cognitive dissonance and I’m seeing the results of such behaviour in more than one area of my life. These books go further than that in discussing how far we sometimes go in setting up a safe zone of memory protecting ourselves from the trauma that really happened. Also visited is the remarkable goings on of when two people witness the same event but both have very different recollections.
If memory serves I have bulldozed my way through a lot of relationships, whether friend, girlfriend or family member. What else can you really call it when my resume has documented me with so-and-so then me without said person, on repeat? I don’t know the first thing about going the distance in a relationship. That’s what my track record says.
But wait a minute. That can’t be right. I consider myself to be a gentle giant sweetheart of a man. I can be extremely romantic, caring, a great listener and friend. I’ve got your back and I don’t ask for much in return. I’ve been the one apologizing when I didn’t need to. I’ve been the one saying let’s figure this out, not the one giving up. I’ve been no saint but I sure as heck aren’t some douche bag leaving carnage in my wake because I didn’t care.
There are always more than one side. I won’t say there’s two because frankly there is often more. Seeing something my way doesn’t make me wrong and same goes for your side and how you view it. I feel like this is such a simple thing yet most of us get caught up in our own heads and refuse to see beyond. We’re right and you’re wrong.
I guess the bottom line is something went wrong and whether I was wrong or right, that’s still only half the equation. It takes two to foxtrot, don’t let anybody tell you differently. My friend will dispute, and a good percentage of exes too, but this just proves my point. Memories are skewed and biased, especially in times of emotional stress or pain. Add in a sprinkle of heartbreak.. ouch.
At the end of the day who wants to be right anyway? I’d rather be heard. That’s it.