Disclaimer: At the time of writing this I may have not had a solid hour sleep in about 36 hours. I also have been swimming in morphine so for all the possible nonsensical words, I apologize. Should be worth a laugh if it wasn’t so dark.
Day 2 in the hospital is almost in the books, this is all I have to look forward to. Escaping yesterday was some sort of miracle and so will be arriving at day 3. This really better be worth it because in hind sight I would never have done this, at least willingly. This is truly the most uncomfortable, more painful state I’ve been in in all my 45 years. God, make it end.
I really don’t care to relive yesterday but let’s just say it registered around a negative 10,025. The O.R. was as terrifying as I let it play out in my mind be. When I woke every swallow like daggers. Fairly soon on they started pushing water and ice chips, and even now at the end of day 2 it’s an experience I’ve yet to remaster.
My nurse last night either sucked horribly or it was her first night. Luckily she was gone by 11pm but in those earlier hours, I kid you not, I would push the call bell and wait 30 minutes at least twice. Strangely enough she seems a lot better tonight so maybe I was hallucinating the whole thing, I dunno.
There’s so much swelling in my mouth and so much saliva it’s both disgusting and been an issue breathing normally today. I think they shoved a jackhammer in my unconcious throat and for that I am not impressed. I’d ask to see the footage but one pic of my jaw laying on my chest and I’d be throwing up intensely.
My next blast of morphine is coming up shortly so I hope to get more than an hour sleep this round. Magnificent stuff that was simply taking the edge off pain wise and now it allows me much needed sleep. Would be nice. I haven’t turned the tv on once. I just close my eyes or stare out the window while sitting up in this bed. It’s like I’m serving a five day sentence in hell and I’m simply just taking it.
So this is me. I truly hope you’re all doing much better. Goodness, you have to be. There is no worse than this. Is there? Okay there no doubt is but I can’t imagine that just as you can’t imagine this. Each day, though hellish, has found improvements so I cling to that. Prayers are much invited.