Without Cost.

Can anyone ever genuinely claim they are living day to day, week to week stress free? If I raise my hand will it end immediately? I don’t know about that but this is where I’m at, in a constant state of ease. I don’t even have a single prayer request, only praise and there’s nothing wrong with that. It is weird to admit but my life, at this present moment, is free of any and all stress.

The past few years there seemed to always be something wrong with me healthwise or physically. I’d have tweaked my back or full on thrown it out. I’d be not feeling well or a daughter would be home sick. My feet would be aching or I’d often look like a bloated lobster what with the high blood pressure and that pesky alcoholism. I’d fondly remember days where I was physically sound and feeling good more often than not and then complain about my present state of affairs.

Typically I’m not the person to have a growing bank account. There’s always money coming in but it’s going out just as fast. I’m often just getting by and praying for something extra to come out of the shadows. Living in an almost era of overall lack isn’t a fun time, always short and wanting more.

When my daughters were constantly ill to some degree (knock on wood their present state of health continues) the tension wears a man down quick. Between missed work, fear of another hospital trip, seeing them in pain and making those godawful hospital journeys takes alot out of you. The ever constant monitoring, temperature taking scenario is a full time job unto itself.

Now things are different or on paper any way. I’m feeling fantastic. Sure, I’ve been off work for a bunch of weeks but just the same, I’m doing remarkably better. I’ve lost weight, I’m alcohol free, I’m sleeping better than I ever remember and I feel new and improved. Living in this state I find that any stress on myself has been lifted. I feel no strain or worries. It’s a fantastic feeling.

Financially, I haven’t felt lack in some time now. There’s money left over each week now and I’m not broke between pay cheques any more. I can’t say I’m flourishing but I’m definitely not barely surviving. The stress level here has gone from an often ten to a zero, similar to draining a bath tub. The worry has swirled and flushed itself away and this is a great place to be.

Since seeing a naturopath at the end of last summer both my daughters have been on a health hot streak, knock on wood. Minus some low iron numbers with their blood (which has been adjusted) to look at them they are not sickly in the least. Sure, they get their monthly infusion to boost their immune systems but no other fevers or nose bleeds or trips to the emergency room. It still feels weird to confess such health for them but the stress of those dark days has been lifted. Out of all the stressors in my life that was the heaviest.. and for almost a year now it has been lifted.

Obviously, circumstances change and around the corner could be a mountain of stress and worry. Tomorrow doesn’t always stay the same but for now I am walking in grace and virtually no stress. I highly recommend this version of life. If you have the opportunity to take some down time (not forced, unwanted pandemic quarantine down time) and regroup your life as it were you really should. I need to keep this up.

By Hearts Erased

A blogger for 6 years, I now have my poetry collection being published.

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