A week or two ago I penned a post in which I claimed to be, at that moment and a week or so prior, stress free. In retrospect it’s easy to feel that way when you’ve eliminated the 9.5 hour work day and commute, temporarily anyway. Now into my third day back at the grind I’m feeling cranky and missing my excess time. The stress is back and I’m telling myself this is no way to live. But a guy’s got to pay bills, am I wrong?
My job is super low stress, like I’d say a one out of ten, if that. That being said going back to work isn’t bringing some stress back, it’s the time devoted to it. While off I had roughly fifteen waking hours in which to do that which needs to be done and then some relative bonus time. Now back at the salt mines I have maybe six hours of sleep free and work free time, and it’s not enough.
I shouldn’t complain. This has been my life for nearly my entire adulthood. I’m grateful for my job. But I can’t help but feel like there’s something more. A better way of living where you can get paid but not be “losing” so much time. I put that in quotations as it’s in the eye of the beholder if doing a day job is considered lost time or not. I do. But then so is time spent sleeping or watching a stupid movie.
So what’s the alternative? What’s the fix? Two options for me comes to mind: cutting back on work days or my writing takes off. One can easily be a reality and the other one I need to put serious work into, which I have not. I’ve been this writer guy in my mind since 2014 but besides writing 500 blog posts and a short novel I haven’t done much. I haven’t truly pursued it the way I first sought out to and now being sober I’m thinking it’s time to reboot this whole notion.
These things take time like anything else. I just need to readjust to this style of living. Soon, like functioning on unhealthy sleep, it’ll be my normal once again. But I will keep these current thoughts and feelings on the subject fresh in my cerebral cortex. I don’t want any more complacency in my life in regards to my potential writing career. All procrastinatory ways aside.
So I’ll dare to be great, or more so great at something. We all have it in us. Though conflicting work agendas, the Jeff Bezos’s and homeless people are both human and can equally succeed royally if they so desired. The same way you and I can. Or we can remain in the four walls of a day job. Who’s ready to break free?