No longer am I in your life.
I think of your joy now and it saddens me.
In your presence you seemed so genuine.
As though you cared alot for me.
I grew so attached.
You mesmerized me by the minute.
You were why I returned each day.
I once confessed fragments
And you deemed me trouble.
You asserted I was drama
And that I displeased you greatly.
You crushed me.
But my adoration still grew.
Through my tears I cared even more.
Nothing could subside the throb.
And I rode this wave for months.
Into years you were the face of heaven.
I knew I had to pull away. Apart.
But I kept dying a thousand deaths.
All for another conversation with you.
You could do no wrong
While you cut my heart apart.
So violently while you pretended to listen.
Ruthless and sadistic
Yet so beautiful to me.
I can only blame myself.
My heart wanted you
And I should have sewn my lips shut.
I should have taken my blind love to the grave.
Honesty set a trap and I sprung it more than once.
So goodbye it is, it’s healthier this way.
Maybe one day I’ll forget about you.
The way you’ve already done the same.
You see, you missed out royally.
The way I felt for you moved mountains.
Rivers could vanish by my touch.
I would have made you full.
Full enough to burst but I couldn’t make the walls fall down.
I couldn’t penetrate your center.
So I guess I’m powerless after all.
And the face of heaven will fade away.
I can now surrender my fight.
Give up arms and leave this battle field for good.
None of this was real, none of it meant a thing.
This whole time I was talking to myself.