Summer Of Hate.

It has been hovering around 30 degrees where I live now for what.. five or six weeks?! This is something to be happy about. It’s what we Canadians look forward to during the other ten months of the year. This is real deal summer heat and you know what? I’ll take the cold any day over this shenaniganry.

I know. There are many nerds that would jump in to remind me that the first frost is typically during Labor Day weekend. Their point is basically “shut up and enjoy the heat” to which I rebut irreverently.

All of you wonderful, blessed souls crankin’ the A/C obviously disregard. My hats off to you and I kick myself hourly for not installing it in my domain. Alas, my complaints stem from my lack of purchase savvy but nonetheless I feel I have a point.

Heat like this is nice.. when you know it will end. My brow, back and buns haven’t been dry in a month point five. A hot day? Oh nice. Maybe a lake trip or do some backyard sunbathing. Later on either a sexy thunderstorm will pay a visit and cooler, normal temps will settle in or just a straight up cool eve will appear.

This summer is not that. This summer is hotter than the day was trapped inside my domicile until the wee hours of the night. Just in time for the sun to come up again and blast us with 30 degree temps before noon. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Replete. No deplete.

There’s no escaping it and the icing is my vehicle has no A/C either. And I’m at home, in Calgary, Alberta. I’m not in Mexico where the humid uncomfortability is welcome because I’m on vacation and I paid for it. This inescapable crap I did not sign up for nor did I pay for it.

It’s gross and I want it to end. I say this and it’s 32 degrees today as well as tomorrow. Nobodies listening nor do they care. So I’ll take my cold baths and blast several fans on my feverish birthday suit to try and catch a few winks in the night. I’ll yearn for deep freeze season and I will never look forward to summer again.

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