Waiting for a shoe to drop isn’t an ideal way to live. A defense mechanism more than anything, it’s a way to stay alert but not be naive. It’s also a very negative way of approaching things and I do my best to avoid such mindsets.
But it’s there. It lurks. In regards to my daughters’ health it is the most prevalent. Not only because I know better but also because I have been told by someone in the medical field. Someone I dislike for more reasons than this but nonetheless, it has been said. Spoken into existence, if you will.
And I stand vigilant against it. Fact: the day to day goings on in the Bobosky household have been well above par the past 15 months or so. I don’t remember life ever being this good and for such a long streak but it continues. It is something I am both aware of and grateful for.
It’s not just in our overall health but it’s ongoing success in practically all facets of life. Financially, my creative level, genuine people that care about us, mental well being, physical transformation and the list goes on.
It’s like a self-inflicted curse (my alcoholism?) has been removed and all of lifes blessings, that were once backed up for years, are now overflowing into our persons. The simple and continuous act of making right choices has us basking in a harvest so bountiful we aren’t able to catch all of it. Our baskets overflow.
Then the naiveté kicks in when I start assuming this will continue but in reality why shouldn’t things be long term good? I’ve subscribed too long to the idea that life is a genuinely bad thing. My mantra was that it is a mundane experience peppered with both negative and positive happenings, and the bad times vastly outweigh the good.
But if the scale is completely flipped and remains upside down for as long as it has, then maybe I’ve been looking at it far too jaded for far too long. Why should I be looking over my shoulder? The boogeyman hasn’t come around so why do I need to keep checking if the deadbolt is locked? I needn’t live like that. And I won’t.
As my state of affairs gets better and better, my eyes keep opening wider. First it was recognizing the downright mental illness of church goers in relation to the pandemic, and now in seeing life being more positive as opposed to such a dark and unpleasant place. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m just grateful to be experiencing growth even at the ripe old age of 45.
Life is good.
One response to “Permanent Stasis.”
See we’re on the same page in a few of the books we read. Today, this afternoon, it’s the “shoe drop” analogy vis-a-vis moving forward and accepting my responsibility for the things I want to get done that don’t get done. Not yet done, anyway. I’m, like you, making progress. Immeasurable sometimes, but that keeps me plugging away. [I read backposts backward. Makes me work harder to put the pieces together, to see who it is I’m listening to, so I’ll be poking at old posts for a while.] Good luck to you as you struggle on. Remember as I remind myself, if it weren’t for the struggle there’d be no real reason to breathe, and damn but I like breathing! Catch you later.