The Disciplinarian.

Often enough I refer to myself as a work in progress, just like the next lady. I decide I don’t like where I’m at, assess, tweak and hope it sticks. This, my friends, is the round about definition of change, if you hadn’t noticed. And sometimes when a goal is nearly met, one can not only bask in the success at hand but also in the mere act of following something through to completion.

Again, no ones journey is ever complete. I only reiterate this statement a second time as more so to remind myself more than you. This year I’ve been undergoing a great personal transformation and the end, as it were, is nigh. Long story short (and not to bore long term readers) I have gone from a depressed 280 lb extreme sleep apnea suffering alcoholic to a 235 lb sober apnea healed guy with a publishing contract in a matter of months.

I reference this transformation coming to an end as all I have set out to do has been accomplished save dropping 15 more pounds. This I am not overly concerned about as I will lose 5 more over the next few weeks and the remainder I will let go of in January. I plan on eating like a normal human being during the best month of the year from start to finish: December.

I have come to the conclusion that when you are disciplined enough you should never deviate. Looking back on the vast chasm of me at this time last year to this current second, the only way I got here was by discipline. Being stuck in a bad spot for years and knowing what to do sucks. Being stuck in a bad spot for years, knowing what to do and actually following through is the game changer we all need to remember.

To go from being under the influence of alcohol to being under the influence of discipline is a gigantic feat. Amidst any vice, it’s the same equation. Being overweight, being a smoker, a druggie, addicted to sex, addicted to attention/social media, habitual lying.. all of it. Being disciplined by parents at home or by teachers at school takes on a whole new appreciation. When you are able to centralize that sense of forced correction and project it onto the four walls that are locking you up, anything is possible.

We all go through a lot. There’s a reason why our elders are wiser than us. I wanted change. I made change happen. I see change happening and I continue to make change take place. In the reminder of putting our minds to something and that anything can happen it is neon signage that we are becoming wiser. And in that wisdom there is peace because the discipline brought us here.


3 responses to “The Disciplinarian.”

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: