Moments fade and you’re not here
In my quiet there is much noise
You haven’t been around to silence it
You’re in a better place, I understand that
But without your camaraderie, I lack
Though composed, I writhe unfailingly
Nothing is as it should be
Everything out of place
Your presence brought solace in the undermining of my circumstance
And without you here tomorrow never comes.

So I pander to the unknown
That is to say this unsettling deviation from what I’ve grown to love isn’t good
You’re not here and what’s worse is you’re not even there
Your love was this embryonic concept
Gestating and beautiful
And to be thrust into this aborted state
Undoes the confines of my scripted predicament
But between this and never knowing you, I’ll take this.

It’s been us versus the world and that won’t ever change
Even in this temporary gap I don’t doubt a single thing
To be loved by you fuses me
I truly am repairable
But when all your goodness is off the grid, our parallel goes sideways
The warmth of the light that you cast is deflected and I stand here alone
Hoping. Waiting. Breathing
Unable to advance amidst this undertow.

I can taste your femininity
In your absence I found deeper love
There are things to be said and there is so much to show you
So come to me now
Reprieve the unbearable
Obliterate the obstacle and reinstate sanctuary
For our aorta magnets are still intact
We fall back into alignment and chase away the ghosts that bind us
Nothing else shall blind us again.