In one of the final chapters of my year (and when I say my year I mean March to March) I am beginning to prepare mentally for my second surgery of the year. It’ll be my third and hopefully final umbilical hernia repair procedure. For a guy who’s been through it twice before, it’s not going to be all that debilitating but there’s one truth about it that I am focusing on wholeheartedly. That is to relinquish temporary control over my life and just let things be.
The art of being still is tricky for some. We’re all functioning in this fast food world quite highly and often times by muscle memory. Things just get done. We attain discipline and I, for one, dislike very much the concept of letting it slide. We wake, we do this and we do that all day and all evening every day until beddy bye time. Nothing knew is being realized here.
Then we’re faced with a life-as-we-know-it alteration in our daily agendas and though welcome in some cases, it’s always strange ground. An illness overtakes you and you’re basically home ridden for X amount of days. Or similarly enough a surgery and in this case it’s at least a couple weeks of said life-hiccup.
I’m no control freak but I do run a tight ship. Letting go of that for any amount of time and I feel displaced immediately. The idea of someone taking care of me other than yours truly is a bizarre concept but something I’ll be grateful for indeed.
You would think abstaining from a day job for months would provide some semblance of breathing room time wise. It does to some degree, for sure, but my life still feels incredibly busy and equally full. Throwing bed rest into the mix, in theory, sounds sweet as honey but its absurdity still reigns supreme.
As self-improved as I have become this year it has not been without cost. Jumping through this flaming hoop will suck but at least I can soon say that it’s behind me. Like a robot on the fritz, being made whole will set me on a course for the next step of betterment. And this time it shouldn’t take crawling through hell to get there.
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