Anticipatory Moments.

Anticipation can be defined as a feeling of excitement about something that is going to happen in the near future. Having something to look forward to makes life easier; funner. I often make quite a big deal in my head about upcoming anticipatory moments. Like a goal I’ve set for myself. I fantasize about it and visualize it several times a day until it is at hand.

During this past summer I enjoyed great anticipation in being able to focus on my writing and on getting my body back into shape. I looked forward to my daughters’ 18th birthday in the fall. I anticipated a financial surplus and I looked forward to the fast approaching Christmas season, first getting through another surgery.

I had all of these events lined up on my calendar and in my head, and as each milestone hit I had another one to anticipate. I have further body and writing goals to attain but coming to the end of all I had to look forward to, it left me feeling like “What is there to live for?”

Of course I’m being over dramatic. Life is good and continues to get better but now I need other anticipatory moments. Or at least I think I do. It’s like I’ve been on this anticipation high and now this addictive side of me wants more. That’s painting it in a negative light to sort of even the playing field but is it necessary? I don’t think it’s a bad thing to have countdowns to great times.

Obviously I’m overthinking these matters. If I don’t have something relatively exciting on the horizon does that mean I lead a drab style life? I certainly don’t need these joyful buildups but if I can manage to toss in the occasional one or two I will. That is as true a fact as any.

Alas, the beginning of a new year is upon us and there is much to look forward to. There are goals to be set, plans to be made and life to be lived. I can think of a good handful of anticipatory moments upcoming in the next few months. Can you?

By Hearts Erased

A blogger for 6 years, I now have my poetry collection being published.

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