When I was a child I didn’t crave your love.
Women functioned as mothers or teachers.
They didn’t intoxicate like you
Or exude feminine beauty.

I didn’t wallow in your absence
Or let my heart ache in your interim.
I wasn’t denied you.
I was young and I was whole.

Discovering your existence defines my masculinity.
My ways of old are finished.
There is nothing pubescent about me now.
Bred to swoon the likes of you.

Yet the lack of you regresses me.
Without you, the little boy re-emerges.
I considered him grown, not locked inside.
And now there is a war in the center of my being.

My tattletale innocence exposes me
Presupposes the man I thought I was.
Like the chicken and the egg
There is no child without the man.

So with dogs at hand, we seek you.
Sniffing you down like the prey that you are.
Not to kill but to mate for life.
To have you reunites the zodiac in me.

I am your captor and I am your bailor.
Relinquish your surrender
And I will set you free.
Make me into the man you want me to be.

One response to ““Swoon”.”

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