When I was a child I didn’t crave your love
Women functioned as mothers or teachers
They didn’t intoxicate like you
Or exude feminine beauty.
I didn’t wallow in your absence
Or let my heart ache in your interim
I wasn’t denied you
I was young and I was whole.
Discovering your existence defines my masculinity
My ways of old are finished
There is nothing pubescent about me now
Bred to swoon the likes of you.
Yet the lack of you regresses me
Without you, the little boy re-emerges
I considered him grown, not locked inside
And now there is a war in the center of my being.
My tattletale innocence exposes me
Presupposes the man I thought I was
Like the chicken and the egg
There is no child without the man.
So with dogs at hand, we seek you
Sniffing you down like the prey that you are
Not to kill but to mate for life
To have you reunites the zodiac in me.
I am your captor and I am your bailor
Relinquish your surrender
And I will set you free
Make me into the man you want me to be.
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