“The Deep Sadness.”

All I ever did was love you
The only way I know how
Thoroughly and completely
With purpose and without self.

My agenda is clear: to set you free
Then, in your freedom, love you forever
Without condition or condemnation
To lift you higher than you’ve ever known.

But…
With arms like a vise you cling to ways of old
You refuse to walk away from your abuser
You clutch your suffering as though it gives you life
When all it does is drain.

In your rejection of all the help I offer
You drag me into your cancerous fog
You make me breathe the poisonous fumes
The ones that you’ve clung to for years.

I am dying beside you and you won’t pull me into the light
I am screaming for you to end it
And you stare at me blankly
Then bury your head in the sand.

The deep sadness has crept in
It is inside my organs, passing through my heart
Hope has been replaced with despair
Because I promised I wouldn’t give up.

Right here, right now, you watch me die
I kick hard and tremble and still you say no
My last breath will be your name
Because I promised I wouldn’t give up.

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