With the passing of time and new seasons afoot, I have found myself enrolling in college at the ripe old age of 46. After a brief few months off to focus on my writing, to be there for my daughters and to finish getting my body back in shape, I have been looking back towards the working environment. And in lieu of my past struggle with alcoholism as well as my recent experience with a deeply abused woman, my career path is clear. I shall pursue and achieve an Addictions Resource Worker diploma and begin giving back to those my heart goes out to the most.
With writing still in the forefront of my mind, I am highly anticipating my poetry collection release late summer. I have been working hard to have everything in place as far as my social media following grown and all of the work involved from assisting with editing to cover art. This being my biggest aspiration and dream, I shan’t put all of my eggs in this basket. Practicality speaks while goals are often slowly achieved.
The program is fast tracked and mostly online so these are definite draws. I will still be readily available to my girls as well as do some part time work on the side. As refreshing as being home most of the time has been lately, getting myself out there is more than a necessary evil. It is something to embrace and all in the name of something better.
The feelings of deep despair, of being completely lost and without hope within the thralls of addiction I sadly know too well. Knowing that there are many souls out there living like I was is sometimes too much to bear.
And in seeing how oppressed and sad and tormented someone can be at the hands of their abuser has torn me to shreds. I have pleaded with her and offered her a thousand outs a thousand times but she just recoils back into future hurt and digression.
I was without hope as she is but I somehow forced myself to walk away from my oppressor and the healing began immediately. I want to offer hope to many like me and many like her, as these choices are life or death revelations. I want to save lives.
Suffering brings new life. I am 19 days away from 1 year being sober. I went through hell last year to get there and I’ve just gone through hell again to come to this new understanding and calling on my life.
My future continues to be bright. I fight to keep it this way every day.