Punch drunk and sauntering slowly
Brain stammering amidst the fog
Am I asleep? Probably still in shock
With open eyes, the days dread begins
When you taste heaven
Everything else comes up short
When you fly among the clouds
The rest is simply mundane nothingness.
I know that I have perished
And all that I am is a ghost lingering
Though I am able to parent
And do the things I used to do when alive
It’s as though now they have no meaning
There is no start and stop, no come and go
Only whispers of what once has been
And shadows in a tampered maze.
The dread comes in knowing my lift to heaven has passed me by
Beating my head against the wall produces the same effect
I cannot attain what was life to me
It has slipped through my fingers
It has been taken from me by force
My mind plays tricks as hope is alive
But an apparition is without hope
So there mustn’t be anything to hold on to.
As I heal, I protest, as though watching it take place outside of myself
Herein lies this ghosted version of me
I refuse to think of you as someone that I used to know
Yet as the days blur into the next
You seem more and more just a memory
And one that fades like the day into night
I somehow reason that you exist
But to whom and for what purpose anymore?
You were real and I loved you completely
You loved me back and everything about me
Though in another life and another dimension
The warmth still soothes in the spirit world
Amidst the demons taunts
It can’t be taken from me
Not to be traded or spent or put aside
Until I lay down in my final resting place
All of my doors remain open to you.