Your recent sudden departure is more than unsettling The way you bundle me up and toss me away is murder from the love of my life The voices in your head and the familiar cries in your ears Whisk you away like a swift kidnapping Vanishing you without a trace Yanked by the heavy chains that mummify your living corpse Dying in everything that holds you down Drowning us both in your twisted inability to live a life worth living.
“It’s easy to tell yourself it’s not that bad, and it’s really easy to look at your children while you are all sitting around the dinner table and tell yourself you will stay together to save them.
I’m speaking from experience here: Staying in a marriage where there is no love is not saving your children. Not even a little bit. Yes, we know it’s going to disrupt and hurt our children if we split. And doing anything to disrupt and hurt them feels unnatural. So, we cling. We stay. We fight the good fight with their feelings and hearts at the forefront of our minds.
We cannot ignore a very important point here: When parents force themselves to stay together when aren’t happy, this is what damages the kids most of all. My husband and I started having problems when our youngest was four years old, and guess what? She knew.
Once I realized my marriage was not about my children, but about the partnership between me and my ex-husband, I was able to get really clear about why we should divorce so I could let my guilt go. We made vows to each other before our kids were born that we weren’t able to honor. Almost every one was broken.
We were in love once, made a beautiful family, but that love went away. We tried, but we weren’t able to get it back. We both deserve to find it again, and our kids need to see both of us loved in the right way. We knew it wasn’t going to be with each other, and trying to fake it for their sake was destroying us. It could have destroyed them, too.
Because we split, they see us getting along. They see us both feeling more at peace and living our best lives. They see us communicating better. They see us putting ourselves first which is setting a good example for them. There’s an impact on the kids when their parents divorce, for sure. I’m not arguing that. How can there not be? But what I’m saying is, if we stayed together for them and they found out our miserableness was for their sake, I truly believe that would cause a lot more harm than our divorce ever did.
It takes time, but the kids adjust to their new life; they adjust to seeing their parents happier for not being together. But they never adjust to watching the two adults in their house walk around unhappy every day.
Staying together for your kids is a bullshit reason to stay married. Stay together for you, separate for you, divorce for you, but not for anyone else. If you aren’t taking a stand for yourself and your happiness, no one else will, regardless of what you sacrifice for them.”
Days away from two years with you And you break me yet again A week ago we celebrated our bonus year Undetected in your web of deceit Never closer and never deeper in love But can only last so long with your indecisive heartbreak While those that hold you down tighten their grip Back to the slavery of misery on our souls.
Your life is a river, and you are a dam You’re in your dinghy, paddling madly upstream You’ve gone over the waterfall, and you’re hanging onto a vine for dear life In the fluidity of existence, you have gummed up your works.
Your life is a one way street and everyone is honking at you The crosswalk is lit green and you’re standing on the same side of the street You’re broken down in rush hour traffic The direction of your life is not waiting for your fear to be conquered much longer.
Your life is a ticking clock and time is running out To fight your future and your happiness is absolutely futile Time will not reverse and there is no undoing what has happened Now is the time to release your grip on all that should be left in the past.
This morning I got myself up an hour early in order to accommodate the baking needs of my daughters for their class potluck lunch. There’s really not a lot to be said nor were there a lot of ingredients used but isn’t this what a daddy does? To go the extra five miles and help his children out? Certainly all daddies are like this. I know I am.
The idea was to bring non-junk and non-warmed up items. Lindsey wanted to do a cheese and crackers platter, and Lexis’s choice was bannock. I wanted the bannock to be fresh as it’s the only way to eat it, hence getting up at the crack of dawn or slightly thereafter. Bannock only contains five ingredients but it definitely takes time to pull off the entire process. I was a floury, oily mess but it all turned out well.
And what is there to be said about serving up cheese and crackers? It’s just a step above pouring cereal into a bowl. I arranged them just so and feared the formation would explode on the ride to school. I’m pleased to announce it didn’t. All in all, it was a success and the feeding was apparently pretty delightful. It felt good to be there for my girls when they needed me. That never goes away.