Category: Humor
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Spag ‘n Meat Sauce (from my upcoming recipe book for the incompetent male).
This is a two-parter because.. well, it has two parts. The pasta part and the meat sauce part, ya get me? I mean, who doesn’t love this classic meal? I’ll show you a new spin on this Kentucky favorite and (spoiler alert.. it involves stealing then murdering your own cow!! How cool is that?) With…
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Creamed Tuna’r On Toast (From my upcoming recipe book for incompetent men).
I friggin’ love this recipe. In theory, it seems kinda nasty and it doesn’t look any more appealing but once you sink your beigey whites into it, your mouth will be curling its toes in utter delight. Its healthy attributes compliment this number twelve-fold, and just the subtle combination of tuna and warm, toasted bread…
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Go Fish/I’m McLovin’ It.
I’m doin’ it. I’m blogging on the most underrated item on the McDonald’s menu. Not for my sake but for its. May I present the delicious Filet-O-Fish sandwich. I was raised on Mcdonalds. I remember family vacays and us always stopping in at the golden arches for a delicious breakfast of warm fluffy pancakes or…
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Nigels World.
Two days ago, I fired up a Facebook page for my cat Nigel to express her innermost thoughts, her snide comments/references and her motivational wisdom for all to embrace. I call it simply (are you ready for this??)… “Nigels World”. It’s an interactive universe where one female feline, appropriately aged 1.3, can not only serendipitously…
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It Could Always Be Worse.
It could always be worse. A family of six were camping deep in the woods near the base of Mount Assiniboine on the great divide, separating British Columbia from Alberta. It was mid-Autumn and the heat was still rampant. They had wanted to stay a week, to get away, unplug and just enjoy the quiet…
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Conversing With Myself
You wake up and consume a slice of dreamcake, not knowing that your foot is on the accelerator and the pedal’s to the metal. Infantile is your virility; unseen and unevolved. Moving forward to you means moving sideways and unless somebody says something, you’ll wind up in the meat grinder. I’d slap your face if…
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Home Sweet Tijuana
Many, many years ago, I came into this world as a young, British, Afro-American baby. My parents, both being born and raised in Mexico, were and to this day are very perplexed as how this was even remotely possible. No one knows and frankly, no one gives a rats ass. I remember as a youngster,…
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Empty Hourglass
Power blog time. I’ve got 8.6 minutes left on my 15 at work. I wanted to use all 15 writing but buddy in the staff room was flappin gums so now I’m down to 8.2. I work in grocery and I’ve just spent the past 2 hours or so facing product. Monotonous labor that has…
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What Would You Do?
What would you do if your face exploded? Hoping your eyes were intact, you’d probably look/feel around for your face chunks then find a ziploc bag, add some ice and then dump in the remains of your kisser. Trust me… I’d do the same. What would you do if you suddenly slipped into a coma…
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Don’t Tell Me Where to Park
Ok, so handicapped parking I get. Whatever the issue, whether physical or mental, if you have the blue wheelchair sign hangin’ from the rear view, you’re covered. You’re golden. You are alotted amazing parking options, whether it be a mall, restaurant, church.. you name it. From time to rare time, I will park there but…
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Don’t Spook the Cattle
I walked into an antique store the other month, and the guy behind the counter, a silvery old boy about seventy, put finger to lips and then announced, “Don’t spook the cattle.” I squinted and looked around the room, hoping to discover the old coot was talking to some other customer, hopefully in the-know. Unfortunately,…
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It Makes Cents.
Raising kids is like vaccinating your monkey. Can be rewarding but ultimately there’s no way out of it. Housecleaning is like the opposite of breast augmentation surgery. If you don’t do it, things just get dirtier and dirtier. Spreading peanut butter on bread is like spreading HIV. Seems legal… but is it?!? Getting married is…