I consider myself to be an exceptional parent but when wave after wave of failure comes crashing over head, in time, one begins to drown.

I am the single father of twin fifteen year old girls with many a disability under their belts. From their premature entrance into this world until this very second, cognitively, physically and emotionally, they are at lack. Those that have been following my blog, I won’t go too far back. In fact, I’d like to focus on the present state of our household with these two sweet little defenseless monsters, Lexis & Lindsey.

Health wise, Linds has been doing remarkably well since the monthly inclusion of their IVIG treatments at the Childrens hospital. Her latest battles are moreso cognitive and I’ll touch on that in a minute, as they are very similar in both girls at current. Lexis, on the other mitt, has been quite poor lately in the physical department. Her spleen is enlarged quite dramatically and her iron levels are very low. As I supplement her iron, the team of docs are looking into the spleen situation with ultrasounds and various other forms of study. She has subsequently been quite lethargic and generally unhappy and down.

Another issue with sweet Lex (or Lel as we call her.. don’t ask) is her vision. Both girls were prescribed glasses about a year ago and as Lindsey’s actually makes a difference in her vision, Lel’s glasses do not. The optometrist was literally speechless and clueless so in shipping her off to see an opthamologist, it’s become apparent there is damage and separation of her optic nerve behind her eye balls. What does this mean exactly? I’m with you. Waiting in the dark.

They are so beautiful, though. Sometimes I’ll look over at one of them and just take in who she is. These strong yet weakened, glorious yet shadowed, innocent yet seemingly paying for something angels.. they just resonate peace, amidst these ongoing battles. They radiate joy; they only know thankfulness. Then they’ll catch me staring and that smile.. covering red gums and often neglected teeth, lights up the world around them. And they don’t even know it.

These children are my life. I have been entrusted by God himself to watch over, love, defend, pour into and one day let free these hilarious characters.

Every day is a battle but the overpowering fact is love triumphs all. Because they love me, I love them and I suppose even if they hated me, my love would remain constant. Parents, aren’t we blessed?