Tag: writing

Back On The Wagglin’

September 16th, 2018

I’m sick of being off the wagon and when I say wagon, I mean not writing. And when I say not writing, what I’m saying is not wagglin’, up to speed? I have so many projects in the works which I feel like is a good thing, though up until a few months ago when I dropped off the literary world (yes, don’t feel bad, I was the only one who noticed) I chose to focus on one project, all the while still blogging once or twice a week.

I guess I kinda just stopped when I got sober, then I was consumed with the quick move, then I dropped a phlippin’ pallet on my foot and here I am today. With that itch. The itch that only a writer can know. It pushes him off the couch and escorts him to the laptop. Or cell phone. Or typewriter. Or the falcon feathertip dipped in high grade ink.

A writer cannot fight these urges. In fact, he embraces them because in those somber moments, he realizes his calling is true and real. The gift cannot be turned down. So here I am. Rarin’ to go.

But with what? I did put hard core commitment into the screenplay I started back in April. I also would really like to get back into the Cookbook for the Incompetent Male. When I tell people I’m working on it, I’d like to actually be literally furthering it to completion as opposed to it being a dozen or so recipes with many more to go.

The five sitcom scripts I wrote, I genuinely seemed to improve with each one so I should probably continue at number six and go from there. But possibly the most important project of all is the completed first draft of my novella “Buried Yet Breathing”, the work I am most proud of. A second draft is in order, and I need to delve back into the world of finding a publisher willing to take on a first timer.

Another aspect I’m adamant on in this writing game is the continued education on the subjects and all relatable material. It’s what grows me as a writer the most, I would think anyway. And then, as is in my creative mind, a new project is always an excitement in itself, though at this point and especially considering the hiatus, previously started projects are needing my attention the most.

And in this new found sobriety, there’s honestly no reason I can’t finesse a few things at once, am I wrong? Top priority has to be the screenplay. That’s where my heart has returned to, and now to reimmurse myself in that universe, of two terminal lovers, facing death with as much (or maybe as little) dignity as possible. It is a dark project but one with a story needing to be told.

So that’s that. The reawakening has taken place, the documentation of said experience is about to be published and there is nothing left but to slide into the soft embrace of the passion that gives me the most breath.
My Cross To Bear.

February 19th, 2018

When you see this face, what profession do you see in the mug and behind the eyes?

Grease monkey at McDonald’s? Water slinger at an H2o company? Courier? Landscaper? Child care worker? Uniform and mat delivery guy? Airplane baggage handler? Grocery store management? Janitor?

Theoretically, yes, whoever the person in the picture, they could be capable of doing or being any of those titles. Maybe they’ve attempted all and more. But the question remains.. do you see (and equally important does he see) him as one of those?

Cat out of the bag, that’s a picture of yours truly. Truly. From today. And I can attest that I have held all those positions and actually more. None of them spoke to me. None of them were me.

The argument can be made that the vast majority of people hate their day job and therefore I need to be grateful to have one and put my head down and suck it up. Yes, I do enjoy eating and having a home etc but I also want to realize and actualize the main reason I am put on this earth and as of yet, I have not done that.

I’ve been hungrily writing for the past four years or so and have since the birth of this seen myself as a writer. I’m a firm believer in where your heart is, then that is who you are. But going even deeper into who I am, there was always one thing that spoke to me the most. One thing I could identify with. One thing I could lose myself in, no matter how many times exposed to it. And that, my friends, is metal.

To clarify, I’m not into working with sheet metal or wielding. Some of those metals are indeed heavy but the heavy metal I refer to is loud, pounding, thrashy music.

There was a period in my adult life where I somewhat left it behind. A person’s musical tastes are of course allowed to be vast and one would say I mellowed out, for a brief time anyway. The death metal especially. But only to rear its head once again in remembrance that besides my calling to Christ and my calling to parent three children, metal was and always will be my audio playground.

This is the time for a resurgence. The world is overpopulated with garbage flavored crap pop music and it’s taking over the entire next generation. Since birth, I’ve raised my kids on trips to the mall with Metallica blasting or a road trip to an amusement park with Fear Factory rumbling on the speakers. Yet what are my kids into by choice?? The Weeknd, Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber. I’m aghast.

The world yearns for the rebirth of metal and dangit, mine wants to be the face of it. Don’t believe me, just watch.
Revolution

October 17th, 2016

A forcible overthrow of a government or social order in favor of a new system is the definition of a revolution. And that, my friends, is exactly what is happening in my life at the moment.

I’ve never been a lazy man; I haven’t any time for that. But I have let bad behaviors get in the way for too long now, and they’ve crossed over enough to generally thwart who I am entirely. And I can’t stand for that any longer. I owe it to my wife, to my children, to my work place and to myself to be better and to overcome. It’s time to overthrow and welcome a new system of living.

Drinking. It’s killing me, probably literally. It has been the number one cause in my gaining 40 pounds the past few months. I feel like an old man when I open my eyes each morning, constantly cursing the night before. Why I’ve fell in love with its seductive intoxicants as badly as I have, I have no idea how I let it get this far. A drain on every area in my life and I want revenge. I want to damage it like it’s damaged me.

Working out. I was the guy in the gym 6 days a week, never missing a session and it showed. I was in the best shape of my life in my mid to late 30s. Then I let life and booze take greater precedence and I’ve never felt more unhealthy nor have I looked it. Fat covering my well earned muscles, love handles jutting out the back and a big ol’ beer belly out front. I’m in the one place I should never have been… out of shape and unattractive. And so much of it is connected to the liquor.

Writing. Been blogging for years, have a handful of TV scripts under my belt, a comedy cookbook in the works and currently a full-on novel being written (possibly novella, not sure yet). But being sick for nearly a month plus the brain cell killing habit of slurping late night spirits is giving me a certain writers block I have never known. I need renewal; a new sense of purpose in the one thing that I am most passionate about. I don’t want to just sit down and write for the sake of ‘yay, I wrote’. I have to be writing the best I ever have otherwise I’m not doing it at all.

So I find amidst this battle, on the frontline. Instigating change, albeit monumental change, is obviously a very trying task. Just saying I want a revolution isn’t going to cut it. Blood, sweat, prayer, support and tears will lead the way.

We are all overcomers. I shall forcibly overthrow this social order in favor of a newer, better and stronger system. My sword is unsheathed.
Answer the Bloody Phone

February 16th, 2016

I couldn’t draft or build a mall from the ground up. I could probably barely erect a birdhouse with these hands. I couldn’t pour out a box of toothpicks and count them in seconds without touching and organizing them. I couldn’t write musical parts for 50 different musicians and 20 different instruments for a symphony orchestra. I couldn’t hook up your lighting in your new home, safely anyway. I couldn’t take off, fly or land a 747 jumbo jet, again, safely at any rate.

Yes, there’s a lot I can’t do. Or can I?? I’m saying if I really wanted to.

I guess there’s a divide between someone’s passion or gift, what I would consider a person’s God given built-in gift that comes naturally and is what you enjoy doing the most in this life… and working at an area hard enough and with a great degree of focus is one able to master something, yet not born into it. Let me further explain.

For me, writing comes naturally. I took a very brief time of lessons in the musical field but was able to at the beginning, as I am now, pick up virtually any instrument and write a song. With writing stories or organizing thoughts on paper I’ve always had the same kind of fluidity. I didn’t try hard at all in school and did quite poorly in several core subjects but English always came easy. Therefore, it is a gift that I need to be using, instead of something I want to be good at so I’ve put years of hardcore work and time into developing this trait or skill.

For quite a few years I worked with small children in family day homes and other children’s programs. I was great at it and put in the time and energy to learn how to excel in it. I surrounded myself with similar people and learnt from them, all the while improving on my skills as a caregiver and nurturer, as well as a better single father.

Was it a gift? Was I this good at not only parenting my own children but others as well?? Or was I thrust into the parenting role, embraced it ‘cuz I adored my kids so much, chose to go the extra mile by educating like crazy and therefore I simply chose that path and career, built from the ground up instead of just a natural gift instilled in me at birth?

Now I’m confused. See, my father wasn’t anything of the father I am. Ultimately, shouldn’t I care less or suck at the role? Or maybe everybody is born with great parenting instincts… it makes sense God would create us with that in our DNA.

Gifts. Traits. Skills. DNA. We’re all born with all of the above and what we aren’t born with, we learn. Does a garbage man have trash compaction in his life blood? I’d suggest it’s a learnt trait but then I’m not that guy. Can a bodybuilder just use his gift but not put work or effort into what he does? It’s the hard work and dedication that really seals the deal here, no matter how passionate about muscle he was at age 5.

The human body, mind and spirit are amazing, and especially when they’re in sync. We all have gifts that need to be exercised daily, because if not sharpened they start to slip away. And the things you really see yourself as being but don’t come super naturally and involves elbow work? Persevere and keep on going. You will obtain your goals.

Combining the two is even better! My natural ability to write, compounded with my vision of myself as a writer for network television as well as movies has me utilizing both my gift, and throwing in the ground work involved in getting me where I want (and see!) myself propels me more than ever.

The rest is up to you.
Still In Me

October 7th, 2015

Like a man in front of a urinal, life too whizzes by super quick.

It’s the beginning of another October. Kids are gone to school, and other various lessons after school. The wife is working around the clock. And I find myself lounging around the house all day in a deep burgundy velvet robe.

Not entirely true. I’m the house go-to guy. Breakfasts? I make ’em. Discipline? I do it. Driving kids to lessons/work? That’s me. Keeping up the houses cleanly factor? This guy. So where’s the time left for writing? I wonder this daily.

Between all these efforts plus ample time with my wife plus gym trips plus the occasional needed nap, my writing really does suffer. I need to amp it up.

Between yesterday and today, I completed the first scene of the fifth episode of my television sitcom. Through all the hubbub of the daily grind, I honestly felt like I may have lost ‘it’ but quite the opposite I showed myself today! This guy not only still has ‘it’ but am doing my best work yet. A concentrated shot of confidence…straight to the heart!

This show is my baby: my pride and joy. It begs to be seen! It begs to be adored! It begs to have a long life! No pressure at all.

There have been shorter blogs, I swear it. I had something to say, just chose to say it quickly.

During the most stale of times, progress can still be made. Never down for the count.
A Canadian Boy with an American Dream

July 18th, 2015

Sitcoms.
Web series.
Movies.
Cookbooks.
Blogs.

Almost two years into my answering to the call of pursuing a writing career and I find myself emersed in many projects, with new ideas and concepts being conceived all the time.

With zero degree of feeling overwhelmed by the creativity bursting forth from me, I press on. And so happily! Such a long road ahead as this Canadian boy pursues greater things than I ever knew I could even imagine, let alone watch materialize in front of me.

Doors have opened in the sense that I have a semi mentor now that is an extremely accomplished previous journalist and television host. Sitting here tonight scrolling through potential literary agents, as well as publishers currently accepting my genre (in regards to the pursuing of my comic cookbook), it’s a wonderful feeling. The work flows, but actually actively seeking representation, as it were, brings it all to life, and the potential that is there is astounding to me.

Next week, with the help of my adoring wife and my talented son, I am shooting the first of hopefully many YouTube videos, which may spawn a Web series on its own merits. I’m having loads of fun creating behind the camera, but I also yearn to perform my writing in front of the camera and to what capacity, will eventually be revealed.

Can I quit my day job yet? Why can’t I have 6 to 8 hours a day to do the thing I am called to do? Patience….

The night is still young. And so am I as this writer guy I’m becoming takes shape and finds his voice. In time, I have no doubt the chips will not fall but line up as they should for me and my family. Success needn’t be merely financial; it means cementing myself as the man I know that I am, recognized or not. The work, or art, will speak for itself. And my deepest intention is for it to not whisper, or even speak… but to bellow for decades to come.

This is my legacy. This is my work.
The Time is Now

June 6th, 2015

How many times can we be reborn? Physically..never. Spiritually..once. But in regards to reinventing ones self, and seeing ourselves as something and becoming it..the sky is pretty much the limit.

Looking back, I have had three major instances where I had myself convinced I was one thing, until things changed, twice any way.

I was on the road to be a rock star. It was a short journey of a jaunt but nonetheless it was how I saw myself. I had a band and that was all I wanted. Then my, at the time, promiscuous self changed things and I had my son. The rock star dream fizzled and I was faced with “the real world”. No offense, Jeremy.

About a year or so after that chain of events, I realized my calling as a family day home provider aka teacher of children, or what I like to refer to as a “child whisperer”. This role provided much for me and my family. It sustained the unit of my children and I through a divorce, it allowed me to be around my children daily as I brought them up and it paid the bills, somewhat.

It also opened doors to a position as Coordinator of two children’s programs, overseeing close to a hundred children and nearly twenty staff.

But it served its purpose and I yearned to retire from it, knowing I didn’t want to be fifty and working with young children and secondly, I knew there was something greater out there for me.

As of eighteen or so months ago, I officially recognized myself as a writer. Not in the paid day job kind of sense quite yet, but I’ve been honing my skills and have emersed myself in many writing projects.

This is the “one”, the real deal for me, the greatest career rebirth I will experience. Okay, that limits me but you know what I’m saying. How do I know this is the real me as opposed to the rock star or the professional parent? I know it because all three are elements of me, on a daily basis, but this is the pinnacle of who I am.

All three involve creative elements. Nothing gives me more life than creating, it’s the strongest passion embedded in my DNA. For the most part, I write daily and to be able to do it to my full potential and to see the rewards…it’s why I pursue it so adamantly.

We mostly live in the in-between. It was years upon years until I saw myself reborn. And then more time went by without any focus or direction on who I was in that sense, to the point of a decade elapsing before my eyes were opened to the gift I carry inside and am now sharing and exploring all the time.

So some questions could be posed. Are you doing what you’re meant to do? Is this direction surrounded by passion and down right electricity? Everybody should know that feeling and succeed in it daily.

Follow where you need to be. Meet who you need to meet. Whatever it takes for you to be who you see yourself as! Anything less crushes us in its mundanity.

We’re smart people. We know when we aren’t living to our full potential. Fight for it.
An Ant in Chinatown

April 24th, 2015

Like a volcano erupting liquid hot magma, the creativity floweth from within this guy. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this alive before!

A few weeks back, I entered into another period of less-writing/more-educating on the writing process itself, this time more specific to both movie screenplays, as well as a Web series. It’s a time of sharpening my tools and soaking up the blueprint of these mediums, before proceeding with any more projects.

Amidst this period of learning, I have found myself not only brimming with new ideas, but also executing said ideas, all the while birthing even more. It could be considered overwhelming if I didn’t love it so much! The passion of it all washes away anything but pure enjoyment of putting pen to paper and watching it flow.

With writing, creation is endless. It’s scope doesn’t have a beginning or ending. There are no rules. Imagination is everything!

That being said, these are a few of the reasons I get so swept up in my process. Like an ant in chinatown, the only thing miniscule is me.

Leaning towards an intense, original motion picture screenplay based on a series of blogs I wrote earlier this year, I have found myself diving into two different Web series ideas. This medium interests me greatly as it could be the foot-in-the-door that I need to promote my original projects like the sitcom. The ‘mini sitcom’ theme of writing webisodes leaves a bottomless pit and a ceiling-free sky of potential creation.

Writing on writing is down-write fun. Not blogging for a while makes a man miss it, but it’s enough said. I need to get back to letting loose the voices from within. The stories, and the characters, the dialogue, the battles and the victories, the trauma, the laughter… I gotta go.
The Next Step Requires Voluntary Movement

March 30th, 2015

Change and progression are an inevitability in life, and I, for one, am all for it.

That being said, I feel like overall progression in every aspect of one’s daily life is not in the cards. I can’t check all boxes at once. I guess I’d be perfect if I could. It’s more of a ‘this area is under construction and these three are needing work but aren’t receiving much attention yet’ and that, my friends, is simply how it is.

With that said, I haven’t hit any walls. It’s more so that I feel stagnation setting in with one or more scenarios in my life and I’m adjusting as needed before any ‘danger points’.

I love blogging. I chose to do them as a means of writing practice, coinciding with my other writing projects like penning my sitcom. There’s been times where I have focused on the blog and others where my focus is my other projects, sometimes not posting a blog for weeks.

Currently, I’m leaning away from these ‘typical’ blogs. I enjoy the process thoroughly but the basic formula is feeling mundane at this point and I want to shake it up to stay in the game, or do I step out and focus on my other projects?

Other current projects include writing the second half of my second sitcom and more importantly, beginning writing on my first movie screenplay which is based on a blog series I used to write. Feeling extremely creative on that one.

How does one be ‘better’? This is always what I strive for yet often the side tracking is more than embarrassing. This is in fact the theme I’m writing about, in a nut shell of sorts. I fully believe that to be better and to accomplish all that I want, it’s circular and embracing that will only help.

If I’m tired, I lack creatively. If I’m stuck in a boring rut, what do I have to offer this machine that I’m building/a part of? Focus is key, focus is the oil to my writing engine.

Lost yet? I friggin hope not. Ultimately, like a whale who can stay submerged for up to 90 minutes, we all got to come up for air.

I desire change! Timing is fairly critical though not make or break critical. What is most important is sensing the necessary change and adjusting as smoothly as possible.

I desire progression! I need to get better. Grow. Evolve. Whatever. You get me.
Improving Every Day: An update on the writing stuff

January 14th, 2015

Being eyeball deep in writing the fourth episode of my sitcom, I don’t normally blog due to my extreme focus on one project at a time. Maybe I’m developing as a writer, or maybe not but regardless I wanted to do up a posting. This is it.

Looking back, my intention was to create a sitcom and write the pilot episode and maybe one more. These would be my babies. And when I felt my babies were mature enough, I would sell their a$$es. Well, more so promote them to the point of the world being able to enjoy them, as they should. I penned the pilot, then numero two, which flowed so well I had no option but to write a third. Since then, I’ve been blogging and even created a new supernatural mini series through my blog which I am very proud of.

The not-too-distant future has me writing one to two spec scripts (scripts of existing television sitcoms), possibly a second pilot idea/show and a movie screenplay, all the while blogging as well. All of this work will go into my writing portfolio, along with any awards I hope to win from various writing contests along the way. And when the time is right (write?), the right (write?!) people will lay eyes on said work and the rest will be history.

All that being said, my ‘sitcom family’ I began missing. I have grown to enjoy ‘hanging’ with them. They’re fun ‘people’ and so I had to write episode four, and with what I think is my funniest story line yet. I dove into scene one last night and loved every second of the creation. Tonight I will paint both scene two and three, and it will be beautiful.

My passion for this/these projects is unceasing and I want it to be known. I know in my heart that all will work out because I live with favor. Open doors, and closed ones, at the right (write??) times.

‘My story’ will continue to unfold, as ‘my story’ continues to be written. Join in with me on my journey. Follow, share, yell it from a mountain top. That would be.. how you say.. amazing.
Not Really Highlights

November 20th, 2014

The tagline for the movie Braveheart is, “Every man dies. Not every man really lives”. Well I feel like I’ve lived. Not to the William Wallace degree of rebelling against English rule, starting a war and changing history but I’ve done some stuff and seen some stuff.

If I keep comparing my life to others, I can be wildly boring or my life can be the epitome of an exciting existence, so I’m dropping the comparisons. Let’s begin.

Ok crap, now I feel like I’ve built up my semi-mundane life way too much. Maybe unread what you have just read and I’ll toss out some facts about moi.

I was born a stutterer. Ya, you read that right… did I stutter?! See what I did there? Anywho. Ok maybe I wasn’t born into it but pretty much because at the age of two my speech went downhill, like, with me still at the top of said hill. With certain people it was so bad I couldn’t get a word out. I had to write things down as a means to communicate. All of my childhood was like this.

At the age of 15, I walked away from my Christian upbringing and all within literally a two-week period I had sex, started smoking cigarettes, experimented with marijuana, started drinking and formed a thrash metal band. I’m not even kidding. Sidenote.. that thrash metal band turned into a death metal band in a year or so. Upgraded the heavy. Anywho.

What else….? Oh ya. I lived on a Native reserve for a bunch of years and knocked up a local. Turns out she’s the mother of my three children. Anywho.

What about that time my twin daughters were paralyzed for about 6 months? Darkest days of my life. And all the craziness involved in separating then divorcing my wife, and battling in court for our three children…and winning? Also part of my life.

Who could forget the man whore chapter? I wish I could. It was preceeded by an engagement gone wrong and legal troubles with an ex who will forever remain shameless.

This past year alone has held more than enough “excitement” for me. Birthing the idea of writing a sitcom was a high point, for sure. Being unemployed shortly after for two months was not. Moving in with my mother at 38, and still job cycling definitely hasn’t been ideal, though I love ya Mom, you’ve been a great help. Not that she’ll read this. Anywho.

I just nutshelled it, and for a blogger who prefers not to blog on “himself”, I kinda blew it and did just that. But I want to flip it. I just “celebrated” some of the most memorable twists and turns of my existence and I want you to do the same. We all live, that’s a given. And we all die. Sure, some classic logic there. And these are not really highlights so much as stand-out moments, and definitely scenarios that have shaped who I am today.

We all have much more to be written, in the pages of our lives. Go nuts. Live it up. Anywho.
Do You Have a Thing?

October 12th, 2014

It’s weird….. When I get into show writing mode, I have all my creative focus on that and the blog production ceases. It comes to a screeching halt and I don’t know how I feel about that.

I think I feel happy.

When I first started blogging, I didn’t want to focus on myself. That’s kinda hard to not do. I mean, ideally I can present motivation through my own experiences, and as I learn, the reader sees a broader picture of life. That’s generally the gist of what I’m going for. So that being said…

This whole sitcom writing blows my mind. I’ve always wanted “a thing”. You know what I mean. The guy who excels in one or more areas greatly, to the point where people double take and give their full attention. Something I can nail. And writing television is it. I genuinely feel it’s my thing.

Take a quick walk with me from conception to current. I’ll make it worth your time. One year ago this month, I felt called to write a sitcom. I’d be watching TV or a movie and be thinking, “Why didn’t I write this!?”. One day I just decided it’s what I’m to do.

Months and months went by where I read books, blogs and inter-blurbs about the process, as well as the destination; what it entails and what it all looks like. I started blogging in April, as a means to get my creative out, to practice writing and develop a following, of sorts.

It took about 8 months til I actually came up with the shows premise and characters. No, it didn’t take me that long to finally think of something! It actually came to me quite swiftly one day. I did my beat sheet, followed by my outline and before I knew it I had written episode one, first draft at any rate.

Without full completion of the pilot, I have moved on to episode two. Conceived the premise a week ago, penned the beat sheet and then the outline. Before writing the pilot, I had scene one of the second episode already planned out so expressing that on paper wasn’t trying in the least. But then there’s those 60 seconds or so where I’m reading my outlined paragraph of scene two and the process begins of breathing life into it. What are my characters going to say? How will I build it and layer it with a few great jokes? How will I end it? And in that minute, I’m a little overwhelmed and think what the flip, can I do this?

Then I begin and it all just gels and flows, and that is what blows my mind. The way I fill a page; nothing feels better to me. I am so head over heels in love with the whole process but especially when I obliterate that scared feeling. I kill fear with written word. That’s how cool I am.